Mrs justa thinking

43 Things Tags: mistakes,fear,challenges

"The greatest mistake you will make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." (Elbert Hibbard) This photo is an example of a mistake that worked. (courtesy of www.homeschoolfcgs.com)    How about post-its, or electricity, or brain teasers. I think that some of the things we use every day came from people not afraid to make a mistake.

Now me, well , I think I am one who spends more times fearing to take the risk. I buy something, I have to read the manual, I mean anything I buy. I have read the manual for my iron, the toaster, the nightlights. I kid you not. I want to follow the directions and get really annoyed if I am rushed and can not take the time to read it first.

If the world was depending on me- I think we would all be in caves doing the cave person stuff. No cars, phones or stores.

How about you? Are you afraid to be, afraid to take the challenge? I wish I personally knew how to get away from my fears- I probably never will though. Just for the record, it is not a fun way to be :( Love to all, take the challenge, Cindy

Mrs Justa and adversity

Mr justa was the person who always quoted W. Clement Stone to me on "Every adversity carried with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit" That, to me , is a powerful statement. When the chips are down, it is hard to see why or where the end will be. I was thinking about adversity today on my way to work. As you all know Mark has had a roller coaster of the past 19 months or so. He asks me often why did all this happen , what is the good that will come from this.

I feel foolish, for I have not an answer. Only my belief that sometimes we can not see the good in a bad situation for a long time. He is like this person who is attached to this hand in the photo. (courtesy of dalnews.dal.ca ) He knows not what he is holding onto, or why, but he is holding on for dear life. Hoping to find the answers, hoping to get out of where he is now.

He does not see it, but he and everyone who is facing challenges, they are strong people, even though at the time they feel weak, less then they are. That is so far from the truth though. So for all of you going through tough times, wondering why this is happening to you, for those who are facing challenges and knowing an easy way through it, I challenge you to take the more difficult way, and see what is at the other side of the adversity, I believe that there is good in everything that happens, just look, wait and feel. Love to all, Mrs Justa

43 Things Tags: adversity,challenges,trapped,feeling lost

Mrs Justa on happiness

Happiness, a word that automatically makes me smile.

This clip art ( courtesy of "mylemonadestand.com) makes me smile. A warm puppy, depending on you for everything, yet full of more love then a lifetime can take in. As John Dewey had once said " To find what one is fitted to and to secure an opportunity to do it is the key to happiness." Mark Twain once said "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval" To be politically correct now- it would be a person... as to not make women feel left out.

It is true.

We have to want to be happy, we have to force ourselves to find a thing we are meant to do and do it.

What makes you happy?

It is hard to find happiness, it is very hard when you feel like life is passing you by. But happiness comes from within, and I gotta tell ya, I have had many instances in my life when I thought I would never become anything, and never find happiness. But I never gave up, I had to reach inside my soul and pull myself back up, and I am so glad I did, I have a family that loves me, a husband that treasures me, a son who my world seems to revolve for,his wife who is a woman anyone would love as a daughter, a step daughter that I am so proud of, a very special son-in-law,  a profession I adore, a few good friends and a job I enjoy most days.

What makes you smile?

Did you ever notice how a smile is contagious? Try it, smile at someone and look in their eyes, see if they smile back. Don't laugh though, they would interpret that differently then a warm smile.

What makes me smile?

(courtesy of designflute.wordpress.com ) Hugs, how more comforting is life then with hugs. People who like me. I feel worthwhile. Nursing in a hospital, because I am helping people in their most trying moments. Rainbows, they are gifts from God. They signify to me that things will get better. Babies, they are so innocent, and need lots of hugs and love. Family, because family is the thread of life, of humanity. Singing, it makes me whole. Giving to those with less then me. Christmas time, because people generally seem nicer. A gentle rain, for it is cleansing the world. A warm bath, because it encompasses my body with comfort. An old pair of sneakers, as they are just right for my feet. Lilacs- I just love the colors and the scent.

What makes you smile? Find it, and let a smile come. May you find happiness on your journey through life, Love Mrs Justa

43 Things Tags: happiness,smiles,love,family,friends

Mrs Justa and the homefront

How weird a day- I went to where we used to live, and watched the home transporters hook up to the front of our old home to deliver it to the new owners place.  Only to come to our new place and see our old home come into the housing development we have moved into .

It was so weird to see the place we had 16 yrs of memories in kind of follow us as we had left it behind.

I really did love that house, and I hope it bring the special moments to someone else that it did for us.

Unfortunately the age of the home made it impossible for us to do a land/home deal with it. We had to get a newer home.

So as our old home gets set up about half way up the road from us, here we are trying to feel at home in the new house.

There are many stressors with this move, and most are able to successfully conquer.

First is the yard, Mark loves a mowed yard and he used to mow ours when he was able. He and I did a few sessions of both mowing and we would meet wherever we ended up. This yard is definitely too big to tag team on in a 30 or 45 minute stretch- I am thinking 2 of us pushing it would be close to 2 hours.

We are going to look at riders tomorrow- see if we can find one within a certain amount of money, and have it be one that will hold up.

Mark is very worried about his future right now, his depression is enveloping his visions to an area he can not see or feel. His get up and go has got up and went. It is a struggle to do stuff, I truly believe part of this is due to the medications, and they seem to not be attacking the depression and anxiety, which is fueled by this new home, the higher bills and his lack of being able to work right now.

I gotta tell you, I fell awful for him, I do try to encourage him and tell him this is not forever, but when you are low, so low there is no light, well words are just words, kinda wasted air.

I will take a shot of the lawn machine we end up with, Jeff and Justin have committed to help us with the lawn, but I am thinking  if we had a rider, it would give Mark something he could do during the week too.Walking this yard would not be impossible, but it would be a challenge. I am willing to give it a good honest try, but I really think a rider would be better.So more to follow... have a good weekend. Love Cindy- Mrs justa

43 Things Tags: mowing,depression,home,life

Mrs Justa walking down the path with Justakrusen

This was titled "the lonely path".

I can see why. There is no real color, everything is kind of dull, there is however a ray of sunshine in the horizon. (courtest of yaadein.wordpress.com). A ray of hope, a glimmer of light. That light , as it brightens may bring color to a lonely path in life.

That is how it is right now for Mark.

He is on the lonely path. He had a blogging buddy who wrote that he felt like a "non person" right now. Well that is pretty much how Mark feels right now.

To be alone on a path,

given medication to help to sleep, help to decrease anxiety and decrease depression, but the problem ( as I see it) is that the meds can sometimes cause one to feel lost, drugged, like  zombie. It is a vicious circle, you need the meds for where you are at right now, but as you improve, are the meds making you where you are at.

For a man who his whole life has worked and worked hard,

to exist in a day to day world of having nothing to do , having doctors tell you you can not work, and not feel safe enough or secure enough to seek out other options, every day is the same, well this is hard. He does it, sometimes harder times getting through the day then other times, but he does it. And I know, that once the accentuated depression and anxiety gets in check, and the meds start to be decreased, he will see that sunlight on that lonely path. Until then, I will be his light, I will guide him down the path, and we are blessed with friends and family who are there too, who understand. He is blessed with a social worker who really cares about him and a psychiatrist who will work with him, so we are headed down the right path, it is hard, it is slow, but we will get there, and maybe one day , maybe even one day soon, he will shine through this blog as the sun is shining in the distance. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Love, Cindy and Mr Justakrusen

43 Things Tags: depression,lost,direction,hope

Mrs Justa and settling in

Ahhh. That says a lot! The house is there, the boxes and bins are mostly emptied, the truck is returned, the lawn is green and the rocks have been somewhat raked and grass seed planted around the house.

This is home, or so folks say it is. Our stuff is in it, but it is not the magic feeling of home yet. Mark is here, the dog and cat are here, Jeff and his wife Amanda have been out a few times, and Jeff, Justin, Amanda, Sarge and Jake helped to make it happen. It is weird though, it feels like we are intruding in someone else's world.

I thought it would be like in the movies- poof, ownership and lust for the new place all at once. Do not get me wrong, I think we both like it , and I think once I have everything where it belongs, I will have grown to love it too.

We do still need to get a rider, Jeff and Justin have offered to help us out through the summer so that we can maybe find a deal on one this fall.

Mark is not out of the depression funk, but ya know, little glimmers happen where I can see the shell is starting to break and he is there waiting for a new day, a new light. The drive to work has increased a little, I think tonight was the best timed ride so far, 38 minutes instead of the 28 I used to drive. So not so bad. The car is  averaging 37.5 miles per gallon, so again not so bad.

It is quiet here, yet a lot of folks drive this road we are on. The pets seem to have adjusted, another plus and we are not short on the furniture end, another good thing. An empty house is deceiving, it looks like there will never be enough furniture, but we have plenty.

I was wondering the other day what people do when they can not afford a home. We are a spoiled society, really. We feel we are entitled to need more, have more. In church they we talking about a man and his family with 6 kids who live in Honduras, they live in a 10x10 1 room home ! Imagine that- a dirt floor and all 8 of your family living in a 10x10. We need to stop, look around and be thankful for what we have. For most of us, when we think we have nothing- think about this man and his family of 8.

I am off to appreciate all we have and to see what of what we have i can share with the rescue mission, so someone else with less can benefit. Say a prayer of thanks for all you have, love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: thanks,blessing,moving

Mrs and Mr Justa have come back on line

43 Things Tags: move,being back

Hi all, Well the weekend has past and we have FINALLY moved in. Oh I think all involved found their beds more comfortable then usual on Friday night. I even took the first long soak in that garden tub early Sat morning. It was a long, hot and humid weekend, but we survivied and are on the other side, so to speak, of the nightmare of moving.

Mark was discharged Sun evening, so he got to come home to a house all unpacked. We still have pictures to hang and a few bins left, but in general, we are all unpacked.

Jeff, Amanda, Sarge and Jake THANK YOU!!!!! The rain and mud and heat, well it was an interesting day- but Saturday was 92 degrees and felt like 99 % humidity- so we were lucky to have done the move on Friday.

This is the new office, were I am typing right now, and where Mark will be coming back to also. He says hi, and appreciates everyone's concern.

I am going to reconcile the check book this evening and look at the money due this week for bills. It will be different here, but I think we will be okay. We now are responsible for our own septic, and now have taxes, at the park someone else had that . It will be nice once Mark feels more like himself, and feel less out of joint.

I am going to go for now, just wanted to saw hi--- we have returned from the dark ! Love, Cindy

Mrs justa moving day

43 Things Tags: moving,house

Ready, set , go. The foundation is done, the U haul is ordered, and here we almost go! I did go and see Mark tonight and he is still feeling pretty low ebb. He will get through this all, and I think the move behind us will certainly alleviate some of the stress.

We got the banks inspection done today, we just have to take all the furniture from here and bring it to there. UGGG!

Indi's bags are packed for a day at the kennel and I just went up and put the house number on the house, took a picture and had to send it to the bank inspector. SO a long time coming, but this is it!

Time Warner is coming out on Monday, so we should be back up then.  Have a very safe weekend everyone. Think of us as you have a moment and keep us in your prayers, Until then- peace, love and understanding, Cindy

Mrs Justa saying hi for MR Justa

Marks recliner is once again empty. He is back in the hospital getting medications changed, adjusted and hopefully able to tackle the anxiety which is at an all time max, and help with the depression. I did get to see him tonight for a little while, he was admitted this afternoon and had not yet had any meds- so he was pretty sweaty, anxious and unsure of anything. Before I left, he did have meds given. I guess Depakote is being added to the Ativan and Wellbutrin, but I am not totally sure.

So for the time being, Imus will guard his chair, well at least for the next 2 days. Friday is moving day. I will probably post for Mark tomorrow night and will do the wordpress one too. but then the computer is down until Monday.

I really do not think he will be discharged over the weekend, but I am not sure. I feel so bad for him. It is hard to watch someone feel like they have no control over their being.

As far as the move. Jeff and his good friend Gary are the guys who will make it happen. I have moved alot of the stuff in the car , and have the kitchen bathrooms and some of the spare bedroom set up. But we need furniture to put stuff in and on, I did go to Wally world and get 2 book shelves- ( those suckers were kinda bulky and weighted 70 lb each, they are camped out at the new place and Jeff said he will put them together this weekend.

I am kenneling the dog and the cat will be the last to go, after I come back and do a final cleaning here.It is going to be so nice to only have one place to reside instead of this 2 place chaos. So I am off for now, doing laundry and getting ready for one mare day of packing and moving stuff. Love to all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: Mark,in patient,depression,anxiety,the move

Mrs Justa and depression

This was titled the "black hole of my soul" courtesy of joshpoems.blogspot via google images and I thought it fascinating. This reminds me of depression, of the feeling of being deep into it and away from the real soul that is laying dormant for the time being.

It is painful to go through it and painful to watch. As most of you know, Mark is in a slump right now, feeling very anxious and depressed. Optimistically I have seen seconds of the normal Mark surface, only to get sucked back into the black hole.

At the family reunion some of my relatives told me they have been there too, they wanted me to assure him that even though it feels like this is a forever state, that it won't be. I truly believe that. I too have fought some pretty tough times in my life, when I thought I was destined to cry every weekend and to feel like life would always be a struggle. But I climbed out of the hole that was sucking the life out of me, and I can look back on it now and feel relieved it is only a vision in the rear view mirror of my life and not a reality any more.

Life is funny, we can be just full of energy and visions, and poof, within moments, something clicks and we are lucky to be able to get up out of bed.

I know, for me, that depression is in the background, and not far away in the mirror. Somehow, at least for the time being, I am able to keep it in my dust and I travel my road of life. I know there were times, when Jeff had gone to his dads for the weekend, and Mark was trucking, that the bed was a comfort, I napped all day, I know that was depression. Selfishly I would have kept Jeff every weekend, but I knew he needed to see his dad, and it was so hard on those every other weekends when he maybe would have rather stayed at my place, because I would have let him, yet I forced myself to be upbeat and tell him it would be okay. Then I would go home, and the minutes became hours and I had no ambition to do anything but sulk and let my soul get sucked into that black hole. When my marriage broke up, Jeff was what kept me together, kept me from doing anything stupid, kept me wanting to be the best for him.

My heart goes out to everyone suffering from depression, it is lonely, it feels like a forever, but it does get better. I hope you can find someone or something to help to get you from the black hole of your soul, as I found first in Jeff and my love for him, in prayer and faith that God would help me over the edge of my own black hole, and then a year later in Mark and Adrianne and the love and joy they brought to us. Please believe that, and when you can see your depression in your own rear view mirror, speed up and loose it in your dust. I love you all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: depression,loss,life,suffering

Mrs Justa and the reunion

Hello all, We are Back. Mark did go down with us which was cool, that way he was not stuck up here in this half emptied home . This is kind of depressing , the shelves

are empty and it does not feel like home. Home is made up of things and memories, without them it is more of a shell. Kind of like how Mark feels right now, like a shell of himself.

The reunion was nice. We saw 34 folks show up for it, that is good. I always wish for one year  that everyone would be there. But I also understand some do not like to camp.

We did a cabin this year. We normally camp in the state park with everyone else, but the cabin was a different experience. It was 8 miles from the park, so not too far to go to and come back to the reunion. It unfortunately became the only place that Mark stayed, but it was okay- it was safe and we were able to come back and see him.

My sister Karen and her husband Tim actually came back to the cabin to visit with Mark for a while Saturday afternoon. Jeff and Amanda and I went up there with them, and we did have a nice visit, after an hr or so we returned to the reunion for the dinner time. Mark stayed at the cabin, just not himself, very depressed and anxious, and not able to tolerate all the commotion.

But it was okay with everyone, everyone understood, and he was able to drive for 1/2 the trip both ways, which in itself is a great improvement over last Monday when driving was a task to hard to take. Our family was fun, they are so sincere and real people,  I love the gathering of everyone, to see the kids and how they have grown. To see my brothers , sisters and their spouses and just talk to them, give each other hugs and know it was a memory in time that was worth it.

I am blessed with a wonderful family, and I can not ever take that for granted. I am going to get ready for tomorrow, to finish the laundry and vacuum the house. May each of you find comfort in those that love you too. Love Cindy

43 Things Tags: depression,family,reunion,love,blessing

Mrs Justa and the 4th of July

43 Things Tags: 4th of July,camping,family,Mark

(Courtesy of  www.orientaltrading.com) The smiling faces are because Mark is home. I know he is not feeling like smiling yet, so these will have to do for now. I am smiling for him.

We have had more issues with the house and the darn getting the certificate of occupancy- but we are getting there. I had to get a certified electrician to come and inspect the place, so that was done today, needed the water district dude to inspect the water- that was done before- so he hopefully faxed it to the town, smoke detectors in every room, done and the warranty seal is there. So now the skirting and I think we are on a serious roll to move in next Friday.

My side of the family is having their reunion this weekend in Allegheny State Park. We come from Arizona, Mich, Mass, RI, Alabama, Kentucky and Syracuse area. I have 8 living brothers and sisters, some with kids that have kids of their own. It is nice to see everyone. I just found out one of my sisters rolled her car on the way down. Her daughter, son and sons friend are ok, the car and car top carrier are not. Seems she just had tires put on , and the store maybe felt lug nuts need not be tightened. So her tire fell off going 65 mph. They are all at the hospital now, about 2 1/2 hrs from here, and some of the reunion goers are going to help salvage her belongings, my brothers are driving 2 cars down instead of one- so she has a car to return in and my sister has a van and has gone to pick up the gang at the hospital. What a way to start the reunion!!

Thank God they had the car top carrier on it, I bet it cushioned the roll. My niece has some scraps, but they are all alive.

I am not leaving till tomorrow night, so no blog for the weekend, Mark may or may not go, it depends how he feels tomorrow night. It sounds like pretty good weather. Mark had rented a cabin for us about 8 mi north of the park, so we will stay at the cabin and go to the park for the gatherings. I am excited about going , yet wish Mark felt better. Now I am worried about my sister and kids, but it sounds like they are VERY lucky. Jeff and Amanda are staying with us Sat night at the cabin, we are all returning Sunday. It will be short, but nice. I hope all have a good 4th of July, stay safe, don't play with fire crackers- let the pros do it.

Love to all, Mrs and Mr Justakrusen

Mrs Justa and the pathway of life

Life is a road, a path sometimes an interstate. Life goes on until it doesn't. I find that comforting yet scary in a way. I sometimes find the pathway with a "T" in the path, and sometimes it is a total intersection. I wonder what makes me determine the path to take, the road to follow. What if I had not taken that path, would the other way end up intersecting with the way I chose down the road further?

I was visiting Mark this afternoon, and I began to think about the paths we have chosen and roads we have traveled. I was observing the people as I drove up there,  all who have different life pathways, and are where they are because of directions in crossroads that they or other folks took.

Each person has a story, each life is special to at least one other person. Each of us had a mom and dad, no matter what we felt of the mom and dad, at one point those people were filled with wonder about what their child would be like.(courtesy of windows vista)We are each here because of the choice our parents made on their own path of life.

We all came into this world innocent, with a life pathway that was many lengths, many bumps, some very smooth. What happened in the pathway to rob us of our innocence, to harden us. I don't understand. IS it that the people and incidents we have been exposed to have made us more cynical at times? Or is it that we have been treated poorly that has made us bitter?

Life's pathway choices are not only for people, all life forms take paths, and the road chosen will either direct them to a positive or a negative experience, to a more comforting or more challenging future. If these geese choose the wrong pathway, it could be fatal for them.

I know not where the current path I am on is leading to, nor do I know what lies ahead for Mark, I believe it will be less bumpy then the part we are on right now. I do know the choice he took right now was a wise choice, to be stabilized on meds  in an in patient setting, and get in control of the direction he is heading on the path, instead of the path taking control. Does that make sense? So my thought is to be careful at the intersection, make sure that you think before you make your choices, and enjoy the walk down the path of your life. You can not turn back, you must keep going forward, find peace, watch for holes, find that beam of light. May God Bless you all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: choices. life,innocent,bitterness

mrs justa and a quick note

HI all Justa quick note to let you know Mark is inpatient for trying to manage him and his side effects as they try to balance medication. I am off to sleep- this has been an incredible trying time with the move, with wanting to help Mark and not being able to, working in a new role of management at work, and trying to make this move as smooth as possible. I am exhausted, so good night, and I will be back tomorrow. Love, Cindy

Mrs Justa trying to fill Mark's cupboard with hope

This reminds me of how Mark says he feels right now. Empty, life is not colored, dizzy, nauseous, lost, wondering why all this is happening to him, to us.

He still can not eat, can not sleep, he did get an instant breakfast down this morning and 2/3rds of a grilled cheese sandwich but that is it for 2 days. His symptoms after starting the Paxil and Valium from Friday have really put him in a bad way. His eyes look weird, like he is trying to stop the room from spinning. Dry heaves, yep he is feeling really crappy.

I did call the doctors number last night and they said Paxil will make you feel nauseous, dizzy and such and as the days progress the symptoms will worse. That was day one on the Paxil and Valium.

Day 2 was much worse, more GI symptoms, and unable to walk straight cuz he is so dizzy, then feeling guilty because he feels so out of it and unable to function- so I called again today, the doctor was called by the nurse, and they said stop everything.

He is just feeling lost, and like it is not getting better. I know it takes time to find the right mix of meds, but it is hard to watch, and harder to live it I am sure.

We are still planning on the move in 2 weeks, I need to make sure we have the right day and people to assist, Earl is looking forward to getting our house, and now that I am setting it up, I can't wait till we are there. This 2 house thing is the pits.
On a brighter note, the kitchen , the 2 bathrooms and some of the bedrooms are in somewhat of order. I can not do it all, as we need bookcases and furniture to put thing in and on.

But I did get alot done, probably unpacked 30 boxes and about 20 bins. It was fun to set things up, but not fun knowing I left Mark here while he was feeling so lousy. He could not go up there though, as we have no water , so no bathrooms right now... but after tomorrow we should :) So life is an ever changing process right now, and I am assuring Mark that this is not his life forever, just we need to see what works. He has a psychiatrist and a social worker that are willing to work together, so that is great, we have our family and friends, which without all of you, it would seem senseless at times.  I see the sun on the horizon, and I know we will feel the glow. He will be okay, it is just gonna take some time.

Our thanks and love to all, Mr and Mrs Justa...

43 Things Tags: sick,depressed. bipolar disorder,medication,unpacking

Mrs Justa and the shed

Well folks yesterday was filled with stress, and frustration and disbelief. It

    And the man who came to move the shed reminded me quite a few times that it was my lucky day, because I met him.He had a task, which he took on , knowing that it was going to be difficult to get the shed out of our yard and to Fulton 8 miles away. Directly in front of our shed was the septic tank- hence he needed to lift the shed and inspire it to go angled, which he did. The person he brought to assist was advising him how the shed looked on the trailer- well the helper missed the fact the the shed was hanging off the left side by 4 feet, so the whole trip up oncoming traffic had to move over a bit to their shoulder and we thought he was going to drop it off his trailer a couple of times.

He had made mention he was going to take the shed doors off before loading it, but due to a sore wrist, he chose to not do that. He made it to the land slowly, and we had an area that was  straight back and drop,

well after he got up there he felt he had been on the job too long, so he whipped the trailer up and drove forward quickly, and ripped the shed doors off. So here we have this shed, Mark feeling like crap, Mark when he asked if he could make doors at his shop at fix these and the dude told him he had been on this job too long and he was pretty busy.  Mark told him that he really isn't a handy man and doesn't work with tools, so the dude looks at me and says Cyn can fix it then. Just take of the hinges, lay the doors on the floor of the shed, and rescrew the hinges in- real simple... gotta go.

And the creep drove off. Never to hear from him again- he did the job for the adrenaline rush, once up there, poof he did not care- he got his $300.00 plus he had us pay an extra $100.00 because it was hard to get it out of our yard.

GRRRRRRRRRRR. This guy really loved himself, and we thought he was a good guy, but after this ordeal we have found him to be an arrogant jerk who really loves himself- bad. The kiss the mirror as you walk by type love himself.

I was able to call my brother Tom, he is super handy and saved the day- as we had the POD there and needed to fill the shed, and now we had no doors. But Tom and his father in law came up, tools , screws and scrap wood, and fixed the doors so they work for now.

So the shed is loaded, and Shawn and Pat came up last evening and we got the whole POD unloaded into the house. Mark felt poorly and has really low endurance, so he helped and took breaks as needed. Shawn busted butt, and we can not thank them enough!! I went up today and did the kitchen unpacking- it took a long time but it went well. Mark came up with all the record albums about mid day- he has been feeling really lousy, he started on new meds yesterday and has nausea, numbness in his hands, really lightheaded and room spinning when he lays down, can not eat, just crappy! So he headed back home as we do not have water up there yet, and he was  in need of having a bathroom close by.

Tomorrow is working on unpacking the spare bedroom, and bathrooms. Monday the water man comes with the meter and I will try to get the certificate of occupancy the next week, once the cinder block foundation is done.

Take care all, Love Mark and Cindy alias Mr. and Mrs Justakrusen

43 Things Tags: shed,move,stress,anger,anxiety

Mrs Justa and the tug of war

Whoa, this is how our life feels right now in my semi warped mind. It represents a tug or war, a pull one way and get dragged back the other. Feeling at times like we are holding on by a thread, hoping that thread will grow stronger with the tug and not weaker. Back and forth, up and down , to me I see a shape like a bird on the right, it looks like it's bill is trying to pull on the frogs leg . See the frog shape on the left.

That is like me and Mark at times, when one of us feel weak the other tugs to keep the weak one going. I feel the events of this past 2 months have been hard, tugging on the patience,  on the heart strings, on the emotions.

It is NEVER easy to move, it is never easy to uproot your life, and then having a bipolar, manic then depressive struggle in the mix, well it is a lot of life's stressors eating away at Mark, and at me having to live it but not be able to help him out of the slump.

I am off tomorrow- the propane and the shed are the tasks of the day. The propane folks will go and put a tank in and set up the furnace and the stove. The shed dude tomorrow too.

Then we start the unload to the shed and the house. We bought drinks for the potential helpers for tomorrow and Saturday. Mark and I have been talking and he may end up going to Oswego Behavior Health clinic in the morning if he is still unable to sleep and having the racing thoughts. He does not want to leave the stuff tomorrow to me, I do not want him to prolong going up there and seeking someone to see him.I will be okay, he may need help to be okay. 

So we will see how the night goes. All who believe in God and the power of prayer, please join me in praying that he is able to find a practitioner who will care about his well being and listen to him. I know this is not as good as it gets.

Thanks to all for being there. I am actually going to post this on both my blog and his tonight incase someone goes to just one or the other. My love to all, Cindy and Mark-- Mr and Mrs Justakrusen

43 Things Tags: emotions,life,depression,stresses in life,help prayer

mrs justa stopping by

Okay folks so here it goes. Last night we had gone up to the property to stake out the area for where the shed will go. Well when we got up there, a bulldozer was still where we needed to stake it out. SO I called the construction manager and he said he would be glad to move it today when he went up to the house to re-route the water lines to accommodate the water meter that the water company needs to install.

This construction person , Bob, went up and spent 3 hrs of his day cutting the water line by the hot water heater and redirection the water lines under the house to go directly to these 2 new shut offs he had to put in.

Well he did a fairly nice job, and then tonight I find out that the landowner who sold us this property, when he did the water line from the curb to the house, he installed a "pit meter" - which is basically a deep manhole with fittings where the water meter would go into out by the curb, so now we have 2 spots for a meter to be put, and needing only one spot. So I called Bob tonight, and told him the dilemma I am in now with a place out by the curb for the water meter and now the cut lines in the utility room.

Now Bob has to get someone to come out and redo everything he just did, to put it back the way it was.

We have electric in the house, the inside is prepped, and the siding is all on the house. The POD will be delivered up there tomorrow, and Friday the shed will be taken from her to there. We really need the shed to get there in one piece, it is contingent to get a certificate of occupancy to have at least the 12x12 shed- this one is 12x16.

The water, well that is a few days away, as we have to have the taken apart line now replaced and then a meter put in the pit meter.

I am learning new things about the home set-up. It is hard, we personally have had challenges with finances, comp, Mark's past year and now the bipolar and depression taking a toll on Mark. Now at work I am newly promoted to manager of maybe 20 people and trying to get things rolling there, so all this new stuff is kinda overwhelming, but we will survive.

Pretty soon we will be settled and our life and blog will be taking new directions. Love to all, Mr and Mrs Justa.

43 Things Tags: stuff,moving,water,life

Mrs Justa and the new home

43 Things Tags: new home,moving,bi-polar,depression,changes,life

Here it is, the home to be, the place we will be moving to in a couple weeks. Well really for the next couple weeks. There are rules, and more rules. The house must have water hooked up, electric hooked up, a minimum 12x12 ft shed on the property and the foundation of the home neatly cinder blocked all prior to us receiving the certificate of occupancy. Now the codes officer did make it quite clear that until he turns our building permit into a certificate of occupancy- then our stuff can live there, but we can not.

Well it is Tues night already- we have the inside of the house seemly done, but there is the lack of electricity, water and the foundation- so it looks like this weekend our stuff will gradually be finding it's own spots, but our bodies will still be resting on pillows at our current home. The POD will go up Thursday and the shed on Friday-Sean and Pat have offered to come PODING on Friday night, and then Les and Barb are coming over Saturday. So maybe we can do it all this weekend. That gives me the remaining 2 weeks till the U haul arrives, to unpack the bins and boxes and try to organize our stuff .

So the big day of moving the rest of the furniture is the 12th of July. Hopefully ( Mark hates when I say hopefully---too optimistic right now for him ) but hopefully, we should have the lacking components to make the codes officer happy.

Mark, well he is hanging in there, low ebb is an understatement right now. His social worker called him today and told him to just stop the Lithium- cold turkey ( Stan will be glad to hear that I am sure). He has only been on it for 13 days, so he should not have serious consequences stopping it, and maybe ( hopefully) he will begin to feel more like Mr Justakrusen for a bruisen ( that is to you Precious Rock) and less like an old discarded rag. Craig and Diane and Justana- you are right, things will get better, even though this seems like where normal will be to him, it is a glitch in the road, a pot hole maybe.

I am note sure when he will feel better, but I do believe the Lithium and he are not good partners. He has gone into some deep depression in these past 2 weeks. But I always reminds myself- we can not get to the top of the mountain be leaping- we have to take one step at a time. And sometimes we have to go in a different direction to overcome obstacles, but one step at a time.

Until he is up and running again, I will try to keep you posted. Looks like it will be around 7-10-08 before we go off line for about 4 days- so for now- thanks everyone for being there, you have no idea how special you all are. My love and best wishes go out to all, Love , Mrs Justa for the person who so often is the Wind Beneath My Wings

Mrs Justa filling in

For all who suffer from depression, bipolar, or the combination, I wish I could push the woes of the affects of it away like this bulldozer pushes the world away. I am torn in many directions by feeling desperate to help Mark, and being unable to help in ways he needs, and I see the blogging buddies out there, and everyone seems to have problems at times with the system, with the lack of understanding of the disorder. I am torn by the lack of society's acceptance and ability to treat those with mental issues the same as those with a broken arm, or an upper respiratory infection.

This is  real folks, this is life, and everyone , no matter what their issues medically need help at times.

As most of you know, Mark has been tossed around this last 1 1/2 years by his ortho, his misfortune with that post op infection and now a disabled leg, and with the depressions and the bipolar. I feel at a great loss, for I am unable to fix things. I have tried, oh I have tried hard, but I am only me and the big brother side of life is way too big at times.

I read the other folks that have supported Mark and are dealing with trying times right now, and I can not thank you enough for being there to support one another, when folks who do not have bipolar can not comprehend. I feel terrible for this unbelievable dilemma that Mark is in. He is on Lithium, having side affects and no one to advise him what to do. Does he wean himself off it? does he continue to go on until someone tells him what to do? Do we bite the bullet and just go to the ER in Oswego where his psychiatrist will be once he sees the doctor in August.

My answers are not good enough, I am one person trying to logically make solutions out of a system, that in my mind, has malfunctioned. Mark does not have the ability to write tonight, he is feeling unmotivated and frustrated at the moment. So to Stan, as to Mark, I say hang in there. My words are sincere, although they may seem cheap. Things happen for a reason, and the reasons are sometimes so hard to see while we are going through trying times. There are quite a few of you who have been there for Mark, and again I say thanks. He asked if I would post for him, so I am posting here tonight, instead of on the wordpress. My wishes and love to all, Cindy ( alias Mrs Justa)

43 Things Tags: life,mental health,discouragement

I'm justa trying to be normal! Whatever normal is!

I really don't feel like writing much right now. I think it will reflect in this post. I don't want to get on here and just complain so I refuse to do so. Saturday was a pretty busy day. We started it out with our regular trip out for breakfast to Mimi's in Fulton, Ny. Shawn and Pat were able to accompany us this week as he didn't have to work until 1:00 pm. After breakfast we took them up to show them the progress on the property with the new slab and such. On Monday they are bringing the home up and placing it on the pad.

Cindy and I came home from breakfast and we both tackled mowing the yard. I'm able to last about 15 min before my knee gets tired. So I helped with the back yard and Cindy finished the front. That will be the last time the yard gets mowed before we move.

After mowing we went to Cindy's Brothers Tom's house for Kyle's graduation party. It was nice to see some people we don't get to see all the time. The kids all seemed to have a good time although they were having a drinking contest of sorts that I'm sure some of them will be paying for this morning as they try to get up. I'm glad I out grew those times

After we left the party our son Jeff and his wife Amanda came over and helped us empty out the rest of the shed and put it in the pod. The Shed is now ready to move up to the land. We just have to let the guy know when to pick it up and will probably follow it up to show him where to put it. We are thinking Thursday maybe.

I want to give a shout out to my blogging buddies PreciousRock and Stan who are both going through a rough patch right now too. It must be something in the air guys. We have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other . Quitting isn't an option. We signed up for the whole rollercoaster ride. No getting off till the ride gets to the end. Maybe it's more like a Merry go Round huh!!

Have a great day. I will post again soon I hope.

I'm justa wondering!

Things are starting to look up in my search for a Psych Dr.

It seems one of the benefits I have with my wife's insurance through work is to have someone Manage my case. This should enable me to expedite getting a visit to a Dr. Cindy feels that with one on the nurses at work managing my case they should be able to stay on top of it enough to where I don't get shuffled to the bottom of the stack. We shall see.

On the land front.

They poured the concrete on the pad yesterday. Dan the salesman from G&I just called and said the house was going to be placed on Monday now. So within a week to two weeks after that we could be all moved in. Pictures to follow.

I'm cutting back on my Lithium by one pill

starting tonight. so I will be cutting back from 900 mg a day which is grogging me out quite a bit to 600 mg a day. We will see what this adjustment does. My blood test is on Monday at my regular drs. office. I'm bored to tears all I do is watch T.V. and sleep.

Workmans Comp sent a notice yesterday they want

to bring the case to a close and want to settle. Part of me is nervous about that as I don't know what it will mean money wise. I have been getting $800.00 every two weeks for over a year now. That will be coming to a close I fear. Then I'm going to be left to get a job which I just can't see trying to do with my bipolar acting up.And my limitations on my knee.

JustaKrusen Together!!

   Here's my Theme Song. I haven't posted it in a while Listen to  it and enjoy!!!

I'm justa hanging around, sort of!!

It's time for me to do another post. As I sit here at the computer I'm not quite sure of what to type. I don't want to talk about the house yet. There are some daily changes going on, somethings that I had to chase down yesterday that I could talk about. I could go into detail how had we not checked the back line of the property against the back line of where the house was going to go was about 3 ft too close that we would have had a major problem. But I don't really want to talk about that now. (We did get the problem fixed thanks to Earl.) He called the Surveyor and they came out and marked the line. We were indeed off by 3 feet. So Earl got his dozer out and essentially moved the pad about 4 feet to the where the back line is now 51ft 9 in away from the back line. We wanted to to move it enough to where it definitely was away from the line. I could have blogged about this some but didn't want to bore you.

I could tell you how Bob from G&I homes is coming out Tuesday (today) and finishing up the sites prep work. He is going to grade a little more, Smooth the site out some than get the site ready for the concrete to be poured possibly on Wednesday. The town code officer has to come out and inspect the site before they pour the cement. This is a good policy as Earl didn't wait on the site that he was preparing for the home he bought from us and went ahead and poured the pad and it didn't meet code. He now has to seek a variance from the town. I could have blogged some about this.

I could tell you that my Bipolar is really cycling fast. Up and down. Mornings are my best time and afternoon and early evenings are my worst.I feel like I'm in this fog that just won't lift. As the day goes on it just gets worse and worse. Some of the side effects are starting to diminish. My body seems to be getting use to the Lithium. The Tingling feeling in my arms and hands is kind of disconcerting. Not having the psych Dr. to call is a little bit of a problem too. I don't know what we are going to do about that. I am scheduled to see the one Dr. from Oswego in August still. I was hoping to see someone before then. I could have blogged some about this.

But in reality this is about all I can manage today. Energy level is low and my Spirit is weaker. I feel like I'm on this Island of negativity. I'm generally a happy go lucky kind of guy. At least I'd like to think I am any way. I just ain't got it in me to dig down and find the color in things around me. It all justa feels kind of gray right now. Check in with a couple of my blogging buddies. They too are going thru some rough times right now. PresciousRock has found the energy to post 51 things that she likes check them out Here. And my buddy Stan has some important things to say about the state of Mental health in this country check out his post waking up with a yawn. I'll try to post again soon.

When it rains it justas pours!!!

It's Sunday evening as I type this post.

My get up and go has got up and went. Jeff & Amanda came by with pizza and wings for Fathers day. They wanted to take us out to dinner but some of my side effects from the Lithium are still kicking in. I don't want to go into detail lets just suffice it to say I was better off sticking around the house.

We did venture out to the land to take

some measurements to be sure some were accurate before they start the site work tomorrow. We're not real sure so I need to get out there in the morning before they get too far along. The back border might be off by a few feet and would require some more site work. We shall see tomorrow.

After getting back from the site Jeff & Amanda

took us out to Ice Cream to top off the Fathers day festivities. A good time was had by all. I had Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream in a dish with Choc sprinkles. MMMMMMM. good. My daughter Adrianne called to wish me Happy Fathers day while we out. I called her back and we we were able to catch up on some news by phone. We exchanged some information. I didn't want to make it to negative of a conversation ie, I didn't want to whine to much so I cut it short a little. Hopefully we can get together soon to see the new puppy she got and to talk face to face.

I can't believe PreciousRock wants me to stop

whining so much. And Stan the man is offering some cheese with my whine. I'm not happy unless I'm whining. You guys don't want me to be unhappy do you? Actually, I feel like I have quite a few reasons to complain. Everything has been going haywire in my life the last little while. It needs to stop sometime. I'm cutting this post here as I'm sure I can't think of anything nice to say to or about anybody right now.

43 Things Tags: Dead horse beater,Kids,whining,Happy Fathers day.

  Photo 1 copied off of Diane over at Heads Carolina/Tails Califorinia and photo two is from Images on Google Images.

I'm kinda Numb!

It's Friday, The day after the closing on the house

That's right it finally happened. We closed on the house yesterday then Cindy and I drove up to the town of Granby town hall to get our Permits for the building to start. Dan from G&I homes called and said that they would be starting the site work Friday afternoon. They would probably be pouring the concrete Saturday. It is all so anticlimactic for me now. The bank dragged it out so much that the excitement for the event has long gone. Maybe as they start making the progress on the slab it will come back for me. Cindy and I are going to try to go up and get some pictures of the progress and will post them if we get them.

I'm on day three of my Lithium and boy does it make you tired

It also gives you diarrhea, and the shakes. I'm having a great time. I'm bound and determined to give this stuff a good test though. The Dr. Said it will take a while to start working and the prescription only cost me $.80. For that money I can afford to ride it out to see if its going to work.

I had a big spike in visitors to this blog  the other day.

12 new hits. I don't understand where the traffic comes from but it sure does help to know other people are reading the words and that some are getting something out of them. I'm not going on other blogs and commenting like I was earlier I just don't feel like I have anything to bring to the table that is worthwhile. I hope to get back to reading and enjoying other blogs soon.

Picture courtesy of my blogging buddy Precious rock on her new blog In living color

I put this picture on because that's where I feel like I am right now.

The desert of my life. The Workmans Comp rep called me today and now I have to meet with him because I quit that job and after that call I had a call from my Psych Drs office telling me that they were dropping me because they don't handle workmen's comp cases. I tried explaining that it wasn't a Workman's comp case but they would have nothing to do with my explanation. I am like reeling here folks. What's next is Gas going to keep rising, are my grocery bills going to continue to go up. The next thing I know there will be a friggin Dumocrat in office and my taxes will go up. I feel like I have stepped of into a parallel universe. Maybe this isn't really happening. Maybe if I an wake up this will all just go away. NOTTTTTTTT! One more thing Dan, from G&I homes called later in the day and said that they wouldn't be starting the site work until Monday now. I'm going to go ahead and publish this thing now before I get another call and things change again. Have a great day.

43 Things Tags: Feeling sorry for self,whining,antoher rant

I'm Justa Limping along here!

Ok here's the story.

I no longer am working the part time job. It was just too much. I couldn't overcome the anxiety. I've only been sleeping about 4 hrs a day if I'm lucky. And My racing thoughts are just too much to try to overcome and work also. The Pysch Dr. I saw today. Wrote me a script to be out of work for 4 weeks. This effectively ends the job. I'm also not on the Abilify anymore. I am now starting tonight on Lithium 300 mg 1 tab in morning and 2 tabs at night. So here goes nothing wish me luck. I am so tired from not sleeping and not eating right the last 4 or 5 days that I would be willing to try anything right now. The Dr. says it may take 7 to 10 days to feel the effects of the Lithium I can't wait. I have tried to do it on my own and it just isn't working. I'll let you know how it works.

I feel lousy about the way I had to quit.

I'm leaving the boss in a bad position. She has to go back and change the schedule of the drivers back to what it was before I started. I can't help feeling like a dirt bag it's not in my nature to quit like I just did. But the bottom line is I never should have taken the job. The 5 hrs dead time in the middle of the shift was just not manageable for me. I ended up tying up 10 hrs for only 4 hrs of pay. I was also driving 80 miles a day round trip from home and back just to get to and from the job. All for only $9.00 per hour.

Well so much for getting more sleep,

it's 2:30 am on Thursday as I finish writing this post. I slept my 4 hrs and now I'm up. I took my first dose of 2 tabs. Hey I have to tell you. My prescription cost me only $0.80 at Wally world. How cool is that? My Abilify was costing me $78.00 and wasn't working so there is a big plus right there. I couldn't believe it when she rang it up and it was so little. I asked her if she was sure.

I don't know how the Workman's comp is going

to deal with my inability to work due to my Bipolar acting up. The Dr. and my Social worker Lenny both feel that my disorder very well may have been triggered due to the stress of my leg and the subsequent problems I have encountered with it. So It may tie in together in the long run.

I want to close this post with a thank you from

Joe and Justana for commenting. You both tell me you have been reading for a while It's great to have you commenting. Please continue to do so. Here is Joe's site over at Simple Debt free Finance Check out his site when you get a Chance and Justana has started a blog, she's a lady from Brazil that has just came out of Lurker status. Here is her site Justana Please stop over and read her blog and leave a comment to let her know she is not alone out there. It is so neat to have readers and commenter's from all over the world.

43 Things Tags: Lithium,Workmans Compensation,Friends

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

I'm a driving fool!

It's 3:00 am on Tuesday as I type this post.

I was tossing and turning while trying to sleep. It's hot and muggy and I'm pretty anxious today. Today the driving on my new job starts. I'm pretty sure I know the route. Right now I have 7 people that I have to pick up in the morning between 07:30 and 09:00 am. The route is aprox 24 miles long winding from Baldwinsville, Ny around through Camilus and then back into the City of Syracuse, Ny ending on James Street at about 09:00 am. Then I'm off until about 02:15 pm when I have to  pick them up and reverse order back to their homes where I picked them up. The route finishes at about 04:00 pm. I'll get a picture of the van I'm driving up at another time. I just wanted to check in with you all.

The closing on the house is Thursday at 10:00 am.

Barring any last minute changes, on Friday G&I homes will start the slab work and within a week or so after the slab is installed they should start placing the house. It should be pretty quick after that that we should be able to start moving in. We hope to be in a postion to take pictures of the site work and them pouring the slab. Hope springs eternal.

Tomorrow is my first visit with the psych dr.

I'm really looking forward to this as I can't take much more of this up and down stuff. This latest episode of the Bipolar has been cycling pretty fast up and down, up and down since January and I'm running out of umph.(Hey Preciousrock is umph a word?) As many of you have read I haven't felt like posting and I feel so disjointed with this post but I just wanted to get some word out there to you. Thanks to my loyal readers for your encouraging words. They mean a lot to me and I hope to be back in the Saddle Posting at least every other day or so. Once I get  used to the routine of working again.

I'm justa checking in.

This is my I'm still here post.

After posting almost every day since I started blogging back in January I went through a couple of days where I just didn't feel like posting. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed what with the move, the new job and the bipolar episode all just hitting me with the perfect storm.So I took a Friday and Saturday off and I'm not going to push it to far today either. I feel somewhat better today. Thanks for the comments and the encouragement of my blogging buddies.

So real quick here is what is going on.

Friday I did my ride along for the driving job. I know the route all ready but will do one more ride along to fine tune in my mind the way things go. Then I believe Starting Tuesday I will be doing the route on my own. I'm not 100% sure though as the new boss has changed her story about the job a couple of times all ready. First it was supposed to be $10.00 an hr to start now she is saying it's $9.00 to start with a raise to $10.00 rather quickly. Then she is hedgeing a little on it being every day, to maybe it being a 2 weeks on 2 weeks off schedule. So I have to see how that plays out. She said to be patient that it may take a month to get things straightened out.

I'm really stressed out about how the new job 

plays into my Workmans Comp and the fact that a hearing will be coming up soon.This job is only part time and in the long term I need to work full time. I have to be patient and let things play out as they will. It's not my nature to wait and see. I'm more a make it happen kind of guy so this is my main stress producer.

Oh I do have some good news.

Cindy was able to get me in to see a Psych Dr. This coming Wednesday. I'm pretty excited about this as maybe I can finally get my medicine straightened out and get back to somewhat feeling normal again. I have been in this last episode of my disorder now since January so I can't remember what normal is. I just know that if how I feel now becomes my normal I wouldn't be able to function very well. So wish me luck with my appointment.

This has been a quick update. There is a lot more going on but I don't want to ramble. Thanks for checking back in. Hopefully more to follow. My posting times may change and I may not post everyday but I'll give it a shot. Preciousrock has a new camera so make sure you watch what you wear if you go to the laundry mat.

I'm justa goin crazy

It's my first day at work. I'm not doing to good today. Just way to many stresses in my life. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to post in coming days. I see how it was for you Stan. Moving a lone is a major stress. You toss in my leg issues, starting a new job,the fact that my bipolar meds just don't seem to be working at all, and I'm not having a whole lot of fun right now. I'm typing this post Friday afternoon at 12:30 pm on my midday break and just wanted to get a little note out to you guys. I'll post when I can. It's going to be day to day for awhile. Maybe the weekend off will help.

I'm justa wondering!

Are we over medicated. I sometimes feel like I am. Here is a list of the medicines I am on and the dosages:

• Arthrotec 75 mg- for my arthritis in my knee 2 a day at least 8 hrs apart
• Lipitor 20mg-for my high Cholesterol once at night before bed.
• Avalide 300/12.5mg- for high blood pressure once at night before bed.
• Omeprazole 20 mg- for heart burn 2 tablets once at night before bed.
• Norvase 5 mg- another one for my high blood pressure one at night before bed.
• Abilify 2.5 mg- for my bipolar disorder. 1/2 pill every 3rd night.
• Atavan take as needed for anxiety.

My reason for even bringing this

up was because of an article I just read over on CNN Health it is an article well worth reading if you even feel like you might be being over medicated. I know for a fact that when I take the Abilify I am grogged out for at least a day sometimes two and that is only on half doses. So if any of you out there might think you or a loved one might be affected by this let me know in the comments. It makes you wonder doesn't it? Sure some of the "conditions" I have I may have brought on by my lack of taking care of myself over the years. Like High Blood pressure and High Cholesterol. But then again some tell me it may be heredity. Gee thanks Mom and Dad!

I know for a fact the Bipolar isn't

something I signed up for. It is a chemical imbalance that my body has. It has probably always been there it is just manifesting itself more as I get older. Not only that, the medical establishment isn't prepared at all for the Mental Health issues our society faces today. My blogging buddy Stan has a rather long winded article on this that is well worth reading on his blog click on over here to read it if you have time. It just makes it so imperative that we self educate as it may be the only way to truly get the right answers.Everyone has an opinion about medicine somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

LiveJournal Tags: bipolar disorder

I'm justa moping today.

Borrowed this picture from greatpriceshere.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

I haven't done a post on anything to do with money lately. Found this cool cartoon over on Greatpriceshere.com there are a few more good ones to check out over there.The price of a barrel of oil is starting to come down and of course they are dropping the prices to match right? NOT. It's got to stop sometime soon or the bottom will drop out. I heard on the Glen Beck radio program the other day that over 1,000 trucking companies have gone out of business. I don't know what the time frame on them was but if all the trucking companies go out how will we get our food? Heck how will we buy our toys. That's why at some point it has to start coming down. I know for Cindy and I with our new move we will have more miles to drive to work.Cindy jokes that we will have to start eating Raman noodles.I'm glad we do our shopping at Save A Lot. Our food cost have been way down lately as we are eating up a lot of our inventory so we don't have to move it. I'm interested in what you guys are doing to cut cost. Have you changed anything? Are you driving less? Are you eating out less? What are you and your family doing to make ends meet as we spend more of our money on Gas and food. I'm justa wondering?

Took my FBI fingerprint test today. The results should be available on the computer for my new boss tomorrow so I could start work by going on a get used to it run with one of the other drivers on Thursday or Friday. Then Monday I would probably be on my own. I think there are 8 customers for me to pick up to start. So hopefully I can remember where they all live. I'm really looking forward to getting into a work routine again. But I'm also anxious because of the Bipolar. I have some days where things are really foggy and it's hard to concentrate. I'm wondering how I'm going to handle the anxiety when that kicks in too. All I can do is try it and see what happens. I think from a knee perspective It should hold up for me as I will be sitting for a while then getting out and stretching for a while inbetween rides to the next customer. Cindy has an interesting take on the pods on her site be sure to stop over and check it out on her site Mrs. Justaskrusen.

Justa tearing up the Internet!

Some of you may remember when

I posted a while back on the income I made off of this blog. It was a whopping $0.03 cents off of my adsense ads. (Those are the ads that appear below each post) anyway. I am happy to report my income from blogging has really taken off. I am up to $0.15 cents in adsense income. Watch out retirement here I come. I love it. Obviously I'm not in this blogging stuff for the money. If I was I would be woefully disappointed wouldn't I. Google from what I understand doesn't cut you a check until you get to $100.00 dollars at this rate in the year 2032 I should see my first check from Goggle.

My aches and pains from moving continue

this morning My back is stiff and my leg is killing me. I must have done a little to much over the weekend. I'm going to limit my work to just moving some things into position in the house again ready to move into the pod and hopefully these aches will subside some. My mind is 30 and my body is 60 not a really good combination is it? Or another way to say it is "The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Look at the team work in this picture. That will be me and Cindy on the way to Save A lot in a few years.

The 1/2 of Abilify that I take every

third night seems to grog me out still. It is really weird how it has that effect on me and a different effect on my blogging buddy PreciousRock. I took my half pill Saturday night and here Monday morning I'm still groggy. I'm sure by tomorrow  I will be a little better. It will be time to take it again though. Hmmmm. I'll be glad we I get in to see the Pysch Dr. hopefully he will have a better choice for me than what I'm on.

I'm going to close with a couple

of Pictures of the Pod. One of my blogging buddies Quinn from England didn't know what a pod was. I told her I would put a picture or two up. This is a picture of it. It is 8ft wide 16ft long and 8 ft high. It holds quite a bit and I also have a picture of it with a lot of the bins that we have already packed. We still have a lot of room left in here and should be able to put in more bins and furniture. I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel as far as packing Cindy has gotten us way ahead. Some of my aches and pains are lessening and I hope to load some more stuff tomorrow before I go for my finger print test..

LiveJournal Tags: Abilify,Having fun

Justa moving and a groovin

That's right we're in full swing with the move.

Cindy and I are kicking ass and taking names. The Pod is almost half loaded, we have carried one million bins (Ok it only seems like one million) and stacked them and stuffed them into the front of the pod. Yesterday was a day of rest from blogging. But it sure wasn't a day of rest. We hit the ground running fairly early. Momma made a to die for breakfast of Bacon and Cheese Omlets and homemade Cinnamon & Raison bread. It was one of the best breakfast I've had in a while bar none. After that we spent most of the day tackling the Shed. Fortunately our next door neighbors Marsha & Dennis took a lot of the stuff that we were going to either throw away or take to good will. We also were able to throw quite a bit into the garbage dumpster. For a change one of our neighbors wasn't throwing away a chair or entertainment center and the thing wasn't  full as soon as the garbage men emptied it.

We still have quite a lot to throw out though

so Jeff is coming over probably on Weds and we'll make a dump run. Hopefully that is the only one we will have to make on the move. We are close to having everything packed that we can. We still have at least 3 weeks left so we can't pack to much more. We're pretty much down to just furniture to move and are saving the heavy stuff for the young bucks to move. I don't know about Cindy but I am definitely feeling the aches and pains from moving. My leg just holds me back so much and is frustrating to know end and every bone in my body is aching as I type this. I think I'll take a day or two off from loading and rest up some.

I'm taking my finger print test tomorrow

(Tuesday) for the new job. I'm getting more and more anxious as the start date is getting closer and closer. I'm not an Axe murder and haven't ever robbed a bank so the test should be a no brainer. I could start my new job on Thursday or Friday. I'll let you know next week what's going on there. I read Cindy post this morning before starting mine. She rambles on about how secretly I'm a nice guy. Don't believe a word she says. What in the heck is she trying to do ruin my reputation?

Today will be a good test to see how my recent

bout's of Anxiety is going. With everything going on I have had to take an Adavan once to settle it down, it frustrates me to no end having to take chemicals to balance things out in my body but it's just something I have to accept. My blood pressure the other day on the machine at Wally world was 134 over 84 not great but considering everything going on not to bad either. I don't know what it would be without the blood pressure medicine I'm on. So I will have to continue to be a walking Pharmaceutical machine. This is getting wordy so I'm going to end it here. Thanks for stopping buy have a great day.

LiveJournal Tags: Feeling sorrry for self,whining,family,moving still

Picture courtsey of google images