This was titled "the lonely path".
I can see why. There is no real color, everything is kind of dull, there is however a ray of sunshine in the horizon. (courtest of yaadein.wordpress.com). A ray of hope, a glimmer of light. That light , as it brightens may bring color to a lonely path in life.
That is how it is right now for Mark.
He is on the lonely path. He had a blogging buddy who wrote that he felt like a "non person" right now. Well that is pretty much how Mark feels right now.
To be alone on a path,
given medication to help to sleep, help to decrease anxiety and decrease depression, but the problem ( as I see it) is that the meds can sometimes cause one to feel lost, drugged, like zombie. It is a vicious circle, you need the meds for where you are at right now, but as you improve, are the meds making you where you are at.
For a man who his whole life has worked and worked hard,
to exist in a day to day world of having nothing to do , having doctors tell you you can not work, and not feel safe enough or secure enough to seek out other options, every day is the same, well this is hard. He does it, sometimes harder times getting through the day then other times, but he does it. And I know, that once the accentuated depression and anxiety gets in check, and the meds start to be decreased, he will see that sunlight on that lonely path. Until then, I will be his light, I will guide him down the path, and we are blessed with friends and family who are there too, who understand. He is blessed with a social worker who really cares about him and a psychiatrist who will work with him, so we are headed down the right path, it is hard, it is slow, but we will get there, and maybe one day , maybe even one day soon, he will shine through this blog as the sun is shining in the distance. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Love, Cindy and Mr Justakrusen