Saturday, April 12, 2008

Justa number

100_0897 Indy is always smiling. It must be great to be a dog. Or is it that we just spoil him?

That's what I felt like justa

sitting in the waiting room and waiting and waiting and waiting.I hope to finish up the CPEP journey today. I left you off with me having been through only one of the three steps to getting my medications adjusted and hitting the road to freedom. I say it like this because after awhile it got to feeling like a prison camp. It was about 6:00 pm at this time and some people (me amongst them) were getting hungry.

Some one suggested I go up and ask about

getting fed as they'd been there before and they knew they brought sandwiches and such in a container out like on the airliners. Being the shy, withdrawn and scared to say any thing kind of person that I'm not. I went up to the window and asked the girl behind her Strongly fortified cubby hole. When me and my new found best buds, could be expecting the dinner bell to ring. The girl told me that someone would be out to feed us soon. Ok, soon is good right? 5 or 10 minutes, that's soon in my book.

Well soon in her book must have

been much later. Some one had noticed the stack of containers of food on the desk in the back and told me about them. So when 7:00 pm came and we still didn't have our food. I took it upon my self to ask for permission to use the Bathroom. It just happens to be back near where the food was stacked waiting for delivery to us. You guessed it! I became a delivery man. I brought one for me and another one for some one else back with me to the waiting room. Every one else motivated by the look of the Peanut Butter and Jam sandwich or was it the stale chocolate cake, soon went out on their own and got one and brought it back in. Had we not done that, we'd still be sitting there waiting for "a little while" to get there. 

See I'm taking to long to tell the story

After we ate the delicious gourmet meal. I ,after going up and asking how much longer it was going to be to see the counselor was called into the back again to see said counselor. Some more discussions of why I was there and my medical and mental history were discussed. Here I thought I was seeing the Doctor, so I opened up enough to explain to him my situation, thinking that he would understand my need, fill it and we would part our ways, and live happily ever after. No, No, this was only step two of three. Back out into the waiting room again. A new cast of characters was mixed in with some of the older ones that had been there awhile. 

Now we're to about hour nine of my journey into absurdity!

It goes quick after this about 10:00 pm I'm called into the back for the final step. I now get to talk to Dr.Whoever. I'm about the 30th person she has seen on her nearly, 6 hours into her shift(She's into I just want to go home and take my shoes off, put me feet up and watch Dave Eicorn tell me what the weather is going to be tomorrow mode)We did have an interesting discussion that lasted maybe 20 minutes. She gave me two medicines. The first ones being Abilify 10mg (which would knock a horse out) I know because it sure hit me pretty hard when I took it. It only took about 1 hour for it to start working. The second one is Lorazepam 1 mg which is to be taken when the first one gives me anxiety. Great system right. I can't argue, they work. The problem for me is The Abilify cost me $78.00 even with my Pomco insurance.(They paid $300.00 something) The second one is relatively inexpensive. And yeah, I discontinued the Rispedal I was on. No problem I only spent $90.00 for that about 2 weeks ago.

Now, for as quick as an exit as I can make on this post. If you or a loved one have need to go to CPEP, in my opinion, DON'T, go to one of the other emergency rooms in the area. I believe Community Hospital and University Hospital takes Mental emergency patients. From what I understand CPEP is for acute cases. There is nothing cute about having a mental disorder. Believe me I know. Join the discussion. Leave a comment. Do you or a love one suffer from a mental disorder? Do you know someone who does? Do you work in the social work field and can share some insight into this disorder, Or into the blight of Mental health in today's budgeting cutbacks?

Friday, April 11, 2008

Justa continuing the CPEP Saga!

 100_0338_edited I've since lost about 20 lbs,but look at that face would you buy a used car from this guy? Do I have a face for radio or what?

I think we left off with my in the staging area

This is the waiting room where friends and relatives can wait right along with those of us waiting to be seen. This environment can, and quite often does become quite toxic quickly. The two times it did were when a 19 year old teenager that had been dropped off there buy the police and just left him.(he was one of the ones that never got checked out,the whole time he spent in the waiting room he had his cell phone,shoes and who knows what else with him.) As his frustrations increased he was getting more and more agitated and was talking to who ever would listen to him.

He seemed real good at picking out

the weak person in the room and using them as a sounding board.Eventually staff was alerted and he was taken into the inter sanctum.(He was very good at using the system to get what he wanted) He knew that he could jump in front of everybody if he just acted out and got noticed and made people uncomfortable. And guess what. it did work. We in the room were rather glad to be rid of him though. But it just shows how people that have dealt with the system their whole lives have learned how to circumvent the rules. His "twin sister" came in later in the day and pulled the same thing only she was much better at it. Suffice it to say. She got what she wanted also. A trip to the next step ahead of everyone else. Again the group in the room was elated when she departed. As there were two groups of parents with a couple of younger teenagers in their own crisis. They didn't need any "french speaking" lessons if you know what I mean?

So I'm going to try to pick up

the pace of the story a little quicker here. I might have to go into a third day to get to the end of the story though. Bear with me please.So you get frisked go back into the waiting room. You wait about 1 or 2 hours to see the Nurse. They take you back into a back room take your blood pressure check the vital statistics etc. Ask you some very basic questions of why your here then send you back out into the waiting room. Now at this time in the waiting room your starting to hear some war stories. Someone told us that he had been there overnight and had only gotten to stage two, which is see a counselor. So he had been there over 12 hrs just for the first two stages and was waiting for his visit with the Doctor so he could be released to go home.

Now remember little ole me in all this

At this time I'd already been in and out of the waiting room twice. Once for the frisking and the second time for the nurse interview and vitals testing.I've been at CPEP for 5 hours now. Sitting in this waiting room with out my cell phone, my shoes gone and hungry.(Who eats when your going to Crazyville)I'm starting to get a little agitated and as I looked around the room I saw the level of agitation in the room was growing. So at that time I decided to go into my "One flew Over the Cuckcoo's nest" Mcmurphy role.Fortunately for me I only did it in my head. Every thing I did from here on in was under the radar so to speak. I'm sorry but because of the length I'm going to have to end this tomorrow.Check back for the conclusion of the Saga of CPEP. I'm justa saying!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Justa depressing situation


I wanted to get a couple of days away

from the situation I'm going to describe to you in the following paragraphs.As many of you know. I've been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. HERE is where I first mention it and then a few days later I bring up the fact that I was in to the depression mode. Well it hit rock bottom Tuesday. I had to have Cindy take me down to CPEP. CPEP is part of St. Joseph's Hospitals Emergency Psychiatric center. This is where you go if you are in crisis. Well because of the series of events from Tuesday morning I went spiraling into a depressive episode.

It wasn't as severe as the last one 4 years ago

(that one put me in the hospital for 6 days) This one required spending 11+ hrs in the armpit of the world. They mean well at CPEP. But they are woefully understaffed. Each shift has only 1 nurse,1councelor,and 1 doctor. This is to see all the patients already brought in from previous shifts and place in the holding area either to observe them or send them on up into the ward on the 3rd floor when rooms become available. Plus those of us in the waiting area to be seen by first the nurse,then sent back out to the waiting room. Wait for hours on end to see the counselor, only to be sent back out into the waiting room to be ignored by staff again for some more hours on end. The final stage before you can get your new script and go home or be admitted or what ever the verdict from on high is going to be, is to see the Doctor. This whole fiasco took me 11 + hrs from about noon to about 11 pm.

When I was in there waiting

for the series of interviews to be done. You go in a particular order of things. You start out by being checked for sharp objects, your cell phone is taken away, your belongings are taken away, your shoes and or shoe laces have to be removed. All this so that you don't hurt yourself or someone else in the pre interview room while everyone is waiting.This is a farce because while I was there the 11 hrs I was waiting . There were a total of at least 3 people that were never checked at all. They continued to use their cell phones. They got to keep their shoes and any of them could have had any kind of weapon on them, as they were not checked when they came in. Ridiculous Right? As you can tell this is going to be involved. I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow. Also remember if you would like to get each updated post Automatically in your email inbox every day subscribe to Justakrusen by way of the email link up near the top right of the page. I'm Justa saying!


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

You've Justa gotta be kidding me!

If you've missed a day with Justakrusen.

Then you've missed a lot.Remember I told you we were getting a new double wide on land? Yes? Well no! We had to back out of the deal at the last minute. I had my Dr's appointment for my knee yesterday. At this meeting was Cindy and Myself, Dr.Raphel and Debbie my case manger representing the insurance company.

Cindy and I  went in to talk to Dr. Raphel first.

To make a long story short.(This will be a long story) Dr. Raphel read the results of the Physical Capacity Report from last week. The Bottom line is as we expected. "No more driving Tractor Trailer" for a living. Gone is my opportunity to make over $1,000 per week driving the fuel tanker. Granted I was half expecting this as the Dr. has been mentioning it as a strong possibility for some time now. Still though, it hits home when the "official" word comes down.

Debbie was brought in to the conversation at this point.

She was told of the findings of the test and the recommendations from Dr. Raphel relating to my situation. His findings are as follows; Permanent disability as it relates to my left knee, Partial restrictions in lifting,standing,bending, and lifting as it relates to the movement of my knee in said activities. He recommends that I sign up for Vesid. It is a state run program that will evaluate my abilities, train me, and assist me in finding another job. Not bad right?

Not so fast. After Dr. Raphel left the room.

(To attend to his next victim:)) Debbie, from the insurance company fame. Ask me what I want to do. I informed her that I would like to go the Vesid route. Debbie informed us that she would talk to my original case manager in Albany and find out what she would recommend from an insurance stand point. This is where it went down hill fast for me. Debbie informed us that the insurance company could come down on this in two ways. First they could agree with my going the Vesid route or the same type thing within their company or the next thing (which put the dampers on our home buying spree) they could elect to cut my benefits now that a finding has been reached.

This is where I hit the panic button and quickly moved to the "abort" button.

With out my pittance of $1,600 per month, Momma and I couldn't afford the move to a new double wide on land. It was not worth the risk of getting into the deal and not be able to get out.Momma made the necessary calls to get out of the deal. We had never been house poor in the past, and we weren't going to start now. So there you have it. If you miss a day of Justakrusen you've missed a lot. So hang on. There is always tomorrow. For Momma's take on this, go on over to her post on this, over at her site which you can reach by clicking HERE Thanks for stopping by again. I'm justa saying!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I'm justa on my way.

100_0338 Now tell me that doesn't look like the next Problogger!

That's right watch out Darren Rowe

I have made $0.03 in my Internet marketing business. I checked my Ad sense account for the advertisements from Google. I have made a whopping $0.03 cents since I started blogging about 3 months ago. I fully expect to start getting book deals,offers to guest post, Heck I bet even Bill O'rielly will want to interview me now. Hey I know, I can write an ebook on how to make $0.03 in your Internet business in just three short months Keep your eye out for an announcement soon.

Now on an important note.

This is very important so get closer to the monitor so you can read this. My brother in law and I are having a contest to see who can be the first one of us, to get the first person from a country beside the United States to comment on their blog. So If one of you fine folks out side of the U.S. would be so kind. I would appreciate it . It is a little bit of a pain to comment. However once you are signed on,and you use the same computer the Blogger host will remember you the next time you come back and you won't have to go through the sign in again. Who know's maybe it could become a habit. :) Or I have another Idea, you could lie in your comment and say you are from Liverpool. You know there is a Liverpool overseas you know.Ok no cheating. Darnit, I hate that rule that says cheaters never win. We'll actually I don't... I bet my Brother in Law is calling all of his girl friends overseas now telling them to comment on his blog...

I had a visit with Pastor Carl from our Church yesterday


What ever they get paid is not enough. Can you imagine being closed in a room with me for almost an hour with no way to get out? We talked about my bi-polar disorder and the disaster that it can be if not monitored. He has some knowledge of the disorder and seemed ok with it. He didn't tell me not to come to church anyway. :) Not yet. It is early though. I just really like that church it's like coming home for a family reunion without all the baggage. The baggage is left outside


The value of being a part time blogger.

I read a really good post on this subject on embracing the status of being a part time blogger. I would be classified as very part time. From my income so far you can tell that It's a good thing I am part time and that my family is not counting on income from my blogging. It really does take years for us to go through the learning curve. I'm so new at this that I don't even know what I don't know. If you know what I mean?Daniel Socco, the editor of this blog goes into the finer points of being a part time blogger. If you haven't already, click on over to his blog."There are more than 50 million blogs worldwide. Every day 180,000 new blogs are created… that is 2 blogs every second. Quite astonishing for something that was almost non-existent a couple of years ago right?"

So in closing today

So in closing the blog today I have just one more thing to say. Be like the rest of us 50 million people out there in the Blogesphere and stop whinnying about things. Start a blog instead. I'm justa saying!


Monday, April 7, 2008

Justa digging the weather


Finally spring has arrived in Upstate New York. I think the weather is supposed to be great into Thursday sometime. Just in time too. Cindy and I are readying the house for inspection by the dealer. The Manager from G&I homes will be coming by Wednesday to take pictures of the house inside and out. Cindy has been busting her butt by starting to declutter. Now that is an experience and a half, after 15 years. As for me to stay out of Momma's way in the house I have been puttering in the yard. I took what should have been an hour job into about a day and then some. My leg prevents me from going all gnarly on the yard like I would have in my younger days.(Insert whine here) I'm not complaining though, every day with Cindy is like a day of sunshine in its self.

I promised some on going information on our house buying experience. I'm not going to go into a whole lot of details until the end. I'll try to compile the journey into one post at the end that will sum it all up. Suffice it to say. That so far we have $1,125.00 of unplanned checks that we've written. We are bracing for more. You know they always come in a project of this size. We shall see. Speaking of a project of this size. I'm sure glad that Cindy is a good Manager. If a lot of these things were left for me to do or to Organize!! Well lets just say. "NOT SO MUCH!"

How bout those New York Yankees? It's to early to tell yet how they are going to do. Hey, at least they are not going to go 0 for 162.I haven't had a chance to check in on Joe Torre and the Dodgers. They are now a team I'm going to try to keep up with now that Joe is the Manager. Speaking of keep up with I had to ask my wife what the score of the Yankee game was. The kicker is. She knew it!!!! Now am I the luckiest guy in the World or what? What with the local Triple A team the Syracuse Chiefs putting a new grass field in, I might just try to go to a Game this year. Nothing like real grass fields to play baseball on. Heck maybe my best friend Shawn will get me a free ticket to the game. Now that is right in my price range. Free!! I'm justa saying!

Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Justa biting into an Elephant


Here are me and Carmel(Since moved on to his reward) Don't we just look like we are having a great time?

That's right folks Momma and I have taken the first huge bite of the Elephant(Before I lose some of you,You've heard the saying" How do you eat an Elephant"? Answer: One bite at a time!) Well back to the story.Momma and I have sliced off that first slice of the Elephant. Ok enough suspense. We have bought a brand new Double wide from G&I homes.You can see why we chose G&I right here It is going to be really tight the first few months. We didn't want to be house poor. But the payments for everything the house, land, improvements on the land, taxes and every other little thing you can think of and some that you can't come to $122,000 and some change.

That will leave our Mortgage right at $1,212.00. That's a little bit different than the $660.00 per month that we pay in Lot rent $300.00 and house payment $360.00 now. It just fits into our budget. Cindy's pay at her job is pretty decent, of course you always would like more, and my $1,600 per month from Workman's Compensation tossed in as a kicker and we have just enough to not eat Raman noodles every week.Not that there is any thing wrong with Raman Noodles mind you. Cindy and I,mainly because of her ability to magically pay bills with nothing fortunately have been living on less than we make for years. So although this house is a stretch from where we were house payment wise, it is still do able. But one thing. Billary if you are reading this post. Please don't call up asking for another donation.Take some more of that $100 million that you and Mr. Depends on what is is are making and pay for your lying (oops I mean campaigning) yourself.Mark lighten up on poor Hillary!!! Ok. No more politics it is Sunday after all.

Back to our adventure in House buying. Remember my discussion on our cut in pay last year? I won't go into detail on that again but if you don't know the story you can go here and read about it. As I've said above it's going to be tight. But as Mr 007 himself once said in a movie "It's do able". We've got just enough for the down payment and closing cost and a little bit more. It's those little things they keep throwing at you that you don't know about. I will with the help of Cindy try to tell you of our experience's in this little house buying journey. If your interested, and we hope you are, we in the interest of brevity are going to stop here in the story and pick up on it tomorrow. It has been "fun" so far. If you have time scroll down the page of at least a weeks worth of post to pick up on the story. Whew!! You should try living it. I'm justa saying!