Thursday, June 26, 2008

Mrs Justa and the tug of war

Whoa, this is how our life feels right now in my semi warped mind. It represents a tug or war, a pull one way and get dragged back the other. 100_0891Feeling at times like we are holding on by a thread, hoping that thread will grow stronger with the tug and not weaker. Back and forth, up and down , to me I see a shape like a bird on the right, it looks like it's bill is trying to pull on the frogs leg . See the frog shape on the left.

That is like me and Mark at times, when one of us feel weak the other tugs to keep the weak one going. I feel the events of this past 2 months have been hard, tugging on the patience,  on the heart strings, on the emotions.

It is NEVER easy to move, it is never easy to uproot your life, and then having a bipolar, manic then depressive struggle in the mix, well it is a lot of life's stressors eating away at Mark, and at me having to live it but not be able to help him out of the slump.

I am off tomorrow- the propane and the shed are the tasks of the day. The propane folks will go and put a tank in and set up the furnace and the stove. The shed dude tomorrow too.

Then we start the unload to the shed and the house. We bought drinks for the potential helpers for tomorrow and Saturday. Mark and I have been talking and he may end up going to Oswego Behavior Health clinic in the morning if he is still unable to sleep and having the racing thoughts. He does not want to leave the stuff tomorrow to me, I do not want him to prolong going up there and seeking someone to see him.I will be okay, he may need help to be okay. 

So we will see how the night goes. All who believe in God and the power of prayer, please join me in praying that he is able to find a practitioner who will care about his well being and listen to him. I know this is not as good as it gets.

Thanks to all for being there. I am actually going to post this on both my blog and his tonight incase someone goes to just one or the other. My love to all, Cindy and Mark-- Mr and Mrs Justakrusen


preciousrock said...

Tell Mark that him getting help is essential to both of your lives and to this whole moving process. He needs to get himself to the clinic no matter what other duties and stresses are pulling him. Tell him Mrs. Justa is capable and can handle things for a bit while he gets the help he needs. Definitely this is NOT as good as it gets.

I will be praying for both of you. Take care and hang in there.


preciousrock said...

P.S. Yup, I see the frog and the bird! How cute!

Mark Krusen said...

He did go this morning, and actually was able to see the psychiatrist he was scheduled to see in August. He has been given some new meds :) so lets hope he starts to sleep, eat and feel more like the Justakrusen we all love.
Thanks for being there, Cindy

preciousrock said...

Thanks for updating me! We need our Justakrusen back! PR

CRAIG & DIANE said...

As always, I'll be sending my prayers and positive throughts your way. I'll be looking forward to the updates on the new house!

Stephany said...

YAY he got into the psychiatrist! Great news, I've been keeping him in my thoughts, and you too Cindy.
Thanks for the update. Just one day at a time, it will get better.
Stephany at soulful sepulcher blog.

PS--tell Mark not to forget to pack the man basket :)

justana said...

Good! He has already suffered enough.
I'm sure he'll get the help he wants for he has already tried some meds and that will be of great help to know what not to take.
Cindy, you're doing the right thing. You're helping him immensely. You have no right to feel you're not helping him because you are.
You just cannot make the depression go away.
It's not your job.
You'll be on my prayers.