Thursday, June 12, 2008

I'm Justa Limping along here!


Ok here's the story.

I no longer am working the part time job. It was just too much. I couldn't overcome the anxiety. I've only been sleeping about 4 hrs a day if I'm lucky. And My racing thoughts are just too much to try to overcome and work also. The Pysch Dr. I saw today. Wrote me a script to be out of work for 4 weeks. This effectively ends the job. I'm also not on the Abilify anymore. I am now starting tonight on Lithium 300 mg 1 tab in morning and 2 tabs at night. So here goes nothing wish me luck. I am so tired from not sleeping and not eating right the last 4 or 5 days that I would be willing to try anything right now. The Dr. says it may take 7 to 10 days to feel the effects of the Lithium I can't wait. I have tried to do it on my own and it just isn't working. I'll let you know how it works.


I feel lousy about the way I had to quit.

I'm leaving the boss in a bad position. She has to go back and change the schedule of the drivers back to what it was before I started. I can't help feeling like a dirt bag it's not in my nature to quit like I just did. But the bottom line is I never should have taken the job. The 5 hrs dead time in the middle of the shift was just not manageable for me. I ended up tying up 10 hrs for only 4 hrs of pay. I was also driving 80 miles a day round trip from home and back just to get to and from the job. All for only $9.00 per hour.

Well so much for getting more sleep,

it's 2:30 am on Thursday as I finish writing this post. I slept my 4 hrs and now I'm up. I took my first dose of 2 tabs. Hey I have to tell you. My prescription cost me only $0.80 at Wally world. How cool is that? My Abilify was costing me $78.00 and wasn't working so there is a big plus right there. I couldn't believe it when she rang it up and it was so little. I asked her if she was sure.

I don't know how the Workman's comp is going

to deal with my inability to work due to my Bipolar acting up. The Dr. and my Social worker Lenny both feel that my disorder very well may have been triggered due to the stress of my leg and the subsequent problems I have encountered with it. So It may tie in together in the long run.

I want to close this post with a thank you from

Joe and Justana for commenting. You both tell me you have been reading for a while It's great to have you commenting. Please continue to do so. Here is Joe's site over at Simple Debt free Finance Check out his site when you get a Chance and Justana has started a blog, she's a lady from Brazil that has just came out of Lurker status. Here is her site Justana Please stop over and read her blog and leave a comment to let her know she is not alone out there. It is so neat to have readers and commenter's from all over the world.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images


Stan Cavers said...

Dearest Mark:

What can I say, some things are meant to be and others are not. At least you’re not in last place like the Yankees {laughing}.

So they placed you on Abilify before even trying the old standard tried and true Lithium. What Golf course was that doctor prescribing from anywise?

I would say you'll be feeling the effects of the lithium much sooner than a week. Hold on to your hat Mr. Krusen, you are about to enter the unreal world of a real mood stabilizer. At first you'll think; hey this is great, no big mood swings, and then it hits you! You don't feel a frigging thing anymore. I call that the ameba syndrome effect. If you can get past that and your body and mind are kind to you, you'll slowly adjust to this new world of numbness and be only drooling on an every other day basis. Or in other words you'll be improved and almost cured {laughing}.

Don't worry my friend, I have a Dodger Blue drool towel in the mail to you already {Smirk}.

I do truly hope your new medication works out for you my bipolarish friend. And as for that nine dollar an hour slave labor job; you speak English dang it! {Laughing}. You can make more money pulling feathers off of dead chickens, or running a condom recycling business {smiles}.

Yours Truly

Mark Krusen said...

Stan, I wanted to be a big boy like you. I wanted to be gainfully employed. I've worked my whole life and feel somewhat useless right now.(The only thing that could make me feel worse is if the Dodgers beat the Yankees in the World Series)

Right now I should be picking up my first client. I didn't tell any of them that I was done driving how could I. Just about every one of them said "Goodbye see ya in the morning" when they got out of the van yesterday afternoon. I lasted two whole days whippy ding.

As to the Lithium I have to do something. I hope this is the med of choice for me. The cost is low and it would be great if it works. Time will tell. Thanks for chiming in with your infinite wisdom.

justana said...

There's no way you're going to get rid of me.
I'll be commenting here whether you like it or not! lol
I don't know how to explain this virtual sympathy.
But after reading a comment you left o FS and visiting your blog I felt the "virtual friendship chemical connection" a condition that will surely be on DSM-5 diagnosed under four letters such as VFCC, CCFV, CHSF...
These are not good! But they will find a way to arrange letters in a convincing way.

justana said...

Lithium was the drug that helped my ex-husband with his first maniac episode.
Hope it will help you.

Mark Krusen said...


What is the meaning of those four letter abbreviation's you lost me. I'm glad to know your going to be around more. It will inspire me to post hopefully. I hope I can provide reasonably interesting content to post.

I'm hoping for the same result your husband had on Lithium. Time will tell.



Stephany said...

Hi from the world of seen all meds possible trialed on my daughter or myself!

Lithium is cheap, because it's not a fancy drug company drug. It,as Stan said is a 'real' mood stabilizer, and Abilify simply is NOT. Abilify is an antipsychotic that might help with psychotic thinking, but often agitates and creates mania in some bipolars!

A few tips on the Li if you want them, if not ignore me! my daughter was on Lithium for 6 or 7 years. Drink A LOT of water every day, 2-3 quarts, and in hot weather even more. If your stomach bothers you, ask for Lithobid, it is time released Lithium, and keeps an even amount of the drug in your system.

1. Lithium is not about the dose, it is all about the blood level.
Has to be monitored by blood work and 1.0 is the goal. It's tricky, because just a tad below or above can make it a.not work b. you toxic
2. If Lithium doesn't work, it can be used as an add-on to Depakote (an anti convulsant) that is a mood stabilizer. Both are by blood levels not dose. Depakote level most feel good at is 100-125.

Good luck, I have personally had good use of Lamictal stand alone.


about the job? it's ok. i've been struggling myself to get to work, i work in special ed in schools and just cannot work right now. it gets better. give yourself a break and relax.

Mark Krusen said...


Thanks for the advice on the Lithuim. I wlll take heed and try to make sure My levels stay where they need to be. That must be why my Dr. took me out of work for 4 weeks. I did nothing but nap all afternoon today I hope that wanting to sleep feeling diminishes as I take it more.

CRAIG & DIANE said...

Sorry to hear about the job, but as Stan said, some things are meant to be and some aren't. Hang in there, I'm rooting for you!

Mark Krusen said...

Thanks Diane My wife always says things happen for a reason so we shall see.

Quinn said...

I use depakote and it works for me quite well, I've never had any major or distruptive side effects from it.

And in answer to your comment on my blog yes I have a feeling it might go around.

Don't feel too bad about a job there's plenty out there I don't think I could stay in a job too long I just can't, I always think there are better things that I can do with my time.

justana said...

"Virtual Friendship Chemical Connection" VFCC. Isn't it a good name for a new disease?

They love letter: PTSD; ADHS; ADD;

I hope you're fine.
Stephany gave you good tips.

I believe your Dr. will ask the blood exams.

Hope you're fine!

preciousrock said...

Dear Mark,
I know you feel bad about quiting so quickly, but you have to take care of your health. You shouldn't be driving people around on 4 hours of sleep anyway. I had to quit a job that I had been working at for 5 plus years because my bipolar went whacko and I just couldn't get myself out of bed to show up on time. Felt bad resigning so abruptly and didn't know what I was going to do for income but I just couldn't function and they were getting annoyed with me.

Lithium is available generic so it should be very cheap, you probably got generic. I agree with Stan. I don't think it will take you a week to feel the effects. I also can't believe they put you first and only on Abilify for bipolar. Lithium made me veeeeeeery sleepy and nauseous so it's best you are not working, especially driving at this time of medication change. I truly hope it works for you. I take Lamictal as I couldn't handle the Lithium side effects though. Make sure your doc does check your blood level regularly -- ask him about it if he doesn't order it!!

If you are unable to get your symptoms under control and worker's comp doesn't pay, you may be able to get Social Security Disability. That was suggested to me by a doctor once, but I was just too stubborn to give up right away. If I don't get out of the house and go to work I go stir crazy.

Take care and hang in there buddy. Your friends are rooting for you. What is this business about one of the post tags being lurking? Where and why are you lurking? You didn't say.

Your faithful blog buddy,

p.s. Hey, check out my photo blog at , maybe the sunny, hot desert weather pics will make you feel sunnier!

p.s.s. Stan, you spelled amoeba incorrectly, lol. I need to get on over to your blog soon as I need a Stan fix!! I'm out of ideas currently for my blog. ;-)

Mark Krusen said...


Thanks for the information. As I write this comment back to you my just called me telling me they had to cancel my next appt. and drop me because they don't handle workmans comp cases. All because I wanted a letter to my lawyer stating a connection between my bipolar and my stress from the knee situation. What a mess. I'll check out your photo blog and maybe will get me a pick me up from your pictures. Thanks for being there it means a lot to me.

Your blogging buddy


preciousrock said...

I'm angry now. What kind of uncaring, irresponsible, quack of a doctor would place a patient on a psych med and then just dump him. I would call and ask to speak to the doctor personally!! And if he doesn't call you back, report him. How dare he place you in such a vulnerable position. Are you going to be able to get to another doctor quickly?? I hope so!!

Mark Krusen said...

It' kind of hard to believe isn't it. My head is just spinning now with what to do. I should report the practice to someone I don't know if I have the will to fight though. It is quite an amazing thing to me to just drop someone after prescribing a med like Lithium.

darla said...

Mark, don't feel bad for not being able to work the truck driving job. Who knows... you may be able to go back to work after you get your meds right. Sometimes it just takes a little while before you find the right one for you. Hang in there and don't give up hope. I'm sure you'll find your niche in "working world" again. I hope you feel better real soon!

Stan Cavers said...

Dearest Mark:

I can't believe that bull pucky! That is purely unethical for any Doctor to do in any circumstance where continue care is a necessity; especially without referring you directly to another Doctor for continued care. You need to light a fire under that Pdoc’s SSS. But then it does piss me off when those “want to be god” like figures try to treat us this way. What a bunch of Hoowee.

Yours Truly

Mark Krusen said...

Darla, Thanks for commenting. It's nice of you to join the conversation, don't be a stranger.

Mark Krusen said...


I'm not going to let it just sit there. I'm going to complain somewhere maybe even a local T.v. Station that has a complaint line. This is bull. I'm thinking of stopping the lithium for now what do you think? I better because now I have no one to follow me on it.

Stan Cavers said...

Dearest Mark:

You need to get a new Pdoc ASAP. You know I'm not big on drugs, But if lithium has a good chance to help you stablize, then just maybe you can get your Family Doctor to take your blood levels. Anywise, it's just a thought.

I just want you to be well, functioning at the highest level possible, and have some stable happiness in your life. You deserve that at the very least.

Your Blog Buddy: