For all who suffer from depression, bipolar, or the combination, I wish I could push the woes of the affects of it away like this bulldozer pushes the world away. I am torn in many directions by feeling desperate to help Mark, and being unable to help in ways he needs, and I see the blogging buddies out there, and everyone seems to have problems at times with the system, with the lack of understanding of the disorder. I am torn by the lack of society's acceptance and ability to treat those with mental issues the same as those with a broken arm, or an upper respiratory infection.
This is real folks, this is life, and everyone , no matter what their issues medically need help at times.
As most of you know, Mark has been tossed around this last 1 1/2 years by his ortho, his misfortune with that post op infection and now a disabled leg, and with the depressions and the bipolar. I feel at a great loss, for I am unable to fix things. I have tried, oh I have tried hard, but I am only me and the big brother side of life is way too big at times.
I read the other folks that have supported Mark and are dealing with trying times right now, and I can not thank you enough for being there to support one another, when folks who do not have bipolar can not comprehend. I feel terrible for this unbelievable dilemma that Mark is in. He is on Lithium, having side affects and no one to advise him what to do. Does he wean himself off it? does he continue to go on until someone tells him what to do? Do we bite the bullet and just go to the ER in Oswego where his psychiatrist will be once he sees the doctor in August.
My answers are not good enough, I am one person trying to logically make solutions out of a system, that in my mind, has malfunctioned. Mark does not have the ability to write tonight, he is feeling unmotivated and frustrated at the moment. So to Stan, as to Mark, I say hang in there. My words are sincere, although they may seem cheap. Things happen for a reason, and the reasons are sometimes so hard to see while we are going through trying times. There are quite a few of you who have been there for Mark, and again I say thanks. He asked if I would post for him, so I am posting here tonight, instead of on the wordpress. My wishes and love to all, Cindy ( alias Mrs Justa)