Monday, June 23, 2008

Mrs Justa filling in

For all who suffer from depression, bipolar, or the combination, I wish I could push the woes of the affects of it away like this bulldozer pushes the world away. 100_1432_editedI am torn in many directions by feeling desperate to help Mark, and being unable to help in ways he needs, and I see the blogging buddies out there, and everyone seems to have problems at times with the system, with the lack of understanding of the disorder. I am torn by the lack of society's acceptance and ability to treat those with mental issues the same as those with a broken arm, or an upper respiratory infection.

This is  real folks, this is life, and everyone , no matter what their issues medically need help at times.

As most of you know, Mark has been tossed around this last 1 1/2 years by his ortho, his misfortune with that post op infection and now a disabled leg, and with the depressions and the bipolar. I feel at a great loss, for I am unable to fix things. I have tried, oh I have tried hard, but I am only me and the big brother side of life is way too big at times.

I read the other folks that have supported Mark and are dealing with trying times right now, and I can not thank you enough for being there to support one another, when folks who do not have bipolar can not comprehend. I feel terrible for this unbelievable dilemma that Mark is in. He is on Lithium, having side affects and no one to advise him what to do. Does he wean himself off it? does he continue to go on until someone tells him what to do? Do we bite the bullet and just go to the ER in Oswego where his psychiatrist will be once he sees the doctor in August.

My answers are not good enough, I am one person trying to logically make solutions out of a system, that in my mind, has malfunctioned. Mark does not have the ability to write tonight, he is feeling unmotivated and frustrated at the moment. So to Stan, as to Mark, I say hang in there. My words are sincere, although they may seem cheap. Things happen for a reason, and the reasons are sometimes so hard to see while we are going through trying times. There are quite a few of you who have been there for Mark, and again I say thanks. He asked if I would post for him, so I am posting here tonight, instead of on the wordpress. My wishes and love to all, Cindy ( alias Mrs Justa)

11 comments:

CRAIG & DIANE said...

Thanks for posting and please tell Mark I am thinking of him and wishing him well.

Stan Cavers said...

Dear Mark:

I’m not really feeling all that well, but when I see one of us in need, I want to step forth and try to help!
Mark, as with all these medications it's an only an experiment. If it's making things worse for you, get off the damned stuff. No one has to suffer needlessly. That includes my good bud. Hang in there my friend, we shall overcome, and we are survivors.

In my thoughts and prayers
Stan

Mark Krusen said...

Diane,
Thanks for your support. Like Craig has you for support I have Cindy. Somehow we will get through this.I don't know why this is all happening but I'm sure God has his reasons.

Mark

Mark Krusen said...

Stan,

Thankyou for reaching out to comfort me. I know you aren't in such a great place yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you also. We are getting ready to go dark for a few days soon. I'm lucky to have my wife by my side. I don't know where I'd be without her. I may very well have to ween myself off the Lithium as it doesn't look like a Psych Dr visit is on the horizon. I wish I could respond like Precious to your request to spread the word I just cant' at this time. I'm with you in spirit though. Thanks again for your words of encouragement.


Your Buddy,

Mark

justana said...

Mark,
I lost my husband for bipolarity. After one year of depression, I did my best but I didn't know how strong it is for he didn't tell me all he was feeling. Then the first manic episode... It was hard for he had to be put on a mental institution.
To make a long story short: it was him that went away although love didn't end.
Reading your wife's statement made me remember the feeling of impotence I felt. The time he was in hospital and psychiatrists behaved as if they knew what they were doing and all the stuff.
Seeing you both working together touch me deeply, of course I'm crying...
Mark, you will find your way. I'm sure you will be back soon posting the way you do and making funny comments with Stan, Hi Stan!, I hope you get well soon...
The bad will go away.
My prayers for you and your wife.
Yours truly,
Ana

Mark Krusen said...

Ana

Thanks for telling the story of your husband.I'm sorry for your loss. I'm doing everything I can to hang on and I am very lucky to have my strong supporting wife by my side all the way. I don't know how this will play out and I do hope to get back to my normal self. I just hope that this isn't the new normal.

Yours truly,

Mark

ladyjane64 said...

Our thoughts & prayers are with you, hope you know that. I'm not going to pretend to understand everything you are going through but since I found out about your Bipolor and now learning that my niece has it I have been doing a lot more research so I can at least better understand. So again I say don't forget the friends you have over here on the other side of the river thinking about you ok? Take care and we can't wait until our next get together!!!

Mark Krusen said...

Sandy,
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.It is really tough right now. I don't understand how I'm going to get to the other side of this. But somehow I must. Quitting isn't an option. Keep in touch with Cindy she needs people to help her through this too. Thanks for being there.


Mark

preciousrock said...

Dear Mrs. Justa,
Thank you for updating us and for being there to support my good buddy Mr. JustaKrusen. We miss our spunky Mr. JustaKrusen for a Bruisen and want him back!! PR

justana said...

No! No! No! Mark!
It's not your "new normal".
It will go away!
I assure you it will go away.
It's just a phase. You are trying lithium.
Of course it make changes!
Perhaps you will have to withdraw and try a new med.
But surely it will go away.
It's natural you're feeling this way.
When we have a flu we think it will never end.
Feeling all you are feeling is hard! It's not at all easy to be depressed. Jesus! It's hell.
We can't even express it into words.
Willian Styron, the author of Sophies's Choice, wrote a book "Darkness Visible" about the period he was depressed.
You will not be able to read it now. It's impossible to do anything when you're feeling depressed.
You will be fine.
I promise you!
My prayers go for you.
Yours truly,
Ana

justana said...

No! No! No! Mark!
It's not your "new normal".
It will go away!
I assure you it will go away.
It's just a phase.
Perhaps you will have to withdraw and try a new med. I don't understand American system. Can't you have a another physician?
But surely it will go away.
It's natural you're feeling this way.
When we have a flu we think it will never end.
Feeling all you are feeling is hard! It's not at all easy to be depressed. Jesus! It's hell.
We can't even express it into words.
Willian Styron, the author of Sophies's Choice, wrote a book "Darkness Visible" about the period he was depressed.
You will not be able to read it now. It's impossible to do anything when you're feeling depressed.
You will be fine.
I promise you!
My prayers go for you.
Yours truly,
Ana