Mrs Justa and enabling...or doing good.

Abe Lincoln once was quoted " You can not help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." Well that statement speaks to me in many ways.

I have been accused of, and will for the rest of my life, of being an "enabler". I do not think I am , but others have accused me of it. I offer a helping hand in times that maybe others think I should not.

I have a compassion for people and sometimes they are in need of help. But other times , I have to almost sit on my hand and freeze my actions, because if I do for them, they will not learn for themselves.

I see that at work, if I am training someone on the computer system, and how we analyze and search for criteria to use for our requests we get in, it is so much easier to speak what the trainee should be thinking, or to reach the key board of their computer and just hit the dang key. But I do restrain from that , for I know they need to think and learn with guidance, not with me doing.

But in my personal life, maybe I have been an

enabler in some peoples mind, but I think I have been a good mom and wife. When Jeff lived home and Mark was gone for the week driving, I would do everything around the house. Jeff would get annoyed if he woke up and I have shoveled the driveway, ..I did it because Jeff was working full time and a full time student, so I knew his rest was important. Someone else might say I was enabling him not to do stuff around the house.

Same thing with Mark, I felt bad he was gone from Monday morning till Saturday morning, so I would have him just come home, help him bring his stuff in, the shower would be ready for him to jump in, a fresh towel, fresh sheets on the bed, and he would shower and take a nap. I would get his clothes laundered, get the groceries, and he could recharge for the next grueling week.  I felt I was doing him a favor, others might say I was enabling him.

I find myself in situations all the time when I do things to be nice, and others may think I am enabling . I like who I am, and what I believe in, so I really do not think I will ever change. So I hope I am not disappointing Abe by my actions. Have a great weekend, Love Mrs Justa

43 Things Tags: helping,enabling,compassion,teaching

Mrs Justa and goodbye 2008

Okay, call me a fool, call me old fashion, call me whatever....but to me, this does not look like any sort of fun ! So I would drive with Mark 5 hours away, to buck traffic, pay out of the nose for parking, and shuttle or shuffle with over a million other folks to be crammed behind barriers to watch a ball drop for 6o seconds.

Question 1 : why??

Question 2 : Where do you go to the bathroom? 

Question 3:   why??

Question 4:  What would possess anyone to want to stand in sub freezing temperatures for at least 5 hours to watch this?

Now the other way to see 2008 go is in a quiet living room , TV on, sitting in a recliner or on the couch, having some rye boat , cheese and crackers and sparkling grape juice, and getting up off the chair at 11:59, holding onto the hand of a loved one, and in the other hand a quarter for good fortune, and watch the ball drop in the comfort of our home.

Hmm, which will I choose......betcha can guess.

2008, it brought us many emotions, many ups and downs, we came out in the end I think better then we maybe thought we would end up, but we do have a new 30 yr mortgage, uncertainty of what Mark will be able to do, and a scary economy, a newly elected, not quite in office yet democratic president and house, and it feels like the world is full of anger and unsettledness. So for 2009--I hope for health, wisdom, strength, guidance that we do the right thing, for all the troubled souls to find something safe to hang onto, to be a better me, for Jeff , Amanda and Brandon to sell their existing home and find peace in their new home, for Mark to improve health wise, and Adrianne and Josh to continue to prosper, to cherish family and friends, to write a book, for the financial and emotional instability in the world to calm down, and to win the lottery. ( just the mega lottery- once- that is not being greedy is it? Happy New year to all, see ya next year ! ( I just love saying that when I leave work!) Mrs Justa

43 Things Tags: New Year,wishes,reflections,comfort,friends,family

Mrs Justa and we only live once

Isabell Moore once wrote, " Life is a one way street. No matter how many detours we take , none of them lead back. Once we know and accept that, then life becomes much simpler. Because then we know we must do the best we can with what we have and what we are and what we have become. "

I can remember my mom always saying to me that a scratch gets better and is easily forgotten, but words do not ever leave the persons mind and heart. If words are said in anger or jealously, the moment may be gone, but the words stay to keep the ugliness fresh.

Once we say or do something, we can not retract it. We give up ownership of a word or action once it leaves us. 

We can't go back. Have you ever tried to go back to a place, or a part of your life, and only find out you can not.

So my thought for today is to remember that this moment is gone, and the next is in your control. The thought in your mind is yours , until you speak it or write it, then it is gone, no longer yours only. Your life is limited, there are only x number of days you are on this earth. How are you going to spend them? When footprints in the sand do you want to be remembered by?   Tick, tick , tick... seconds of your life are gone, never to come back, make the best of the next ones.

Love Mrs Justa

43 Things Tags: one way street,life,moments,living once,giving up,memory,words of wisdom,love

Mrs Justa and tennis balls of life

To some

this may look like "justa" tennis ball. But to others it is more then that.

Indi lives and breathes for this tennis ball, he greets it first thing in the morning, throughout the day it is with him, and at night before bed time the ball is still in action.

When he tires of playing with it, he has been known to take a little nap with it between his paws or touching his nose.

This simple round rubber is what Indi lives for, it is almost like a part of him. He longs to share it's special value and meaning with others.

This made me ponder

about what is so important to us? Each of us? What do we live for? What can we not do without? And whatever it is, do others know the importance it has to us?

Hmmm, my tennis balls in life are probably God, church, my family, my job, friends, music, food, my morning cup of coffee, keeping this blog up, singing, taking photos, laughter. I think I need all these to live, to feel fulfilled.

What are your tennis balls in life?

This then led to a phrase from a song that was written by Ray Stevens " There is none so blind as he who will not see. We must not close our minds, we must let our thoughts be free. "

With that, my mind goes to the fact that I need to be more cognizant of others "tennis balls". What is important to others may not be important to me, but I need to still treat it as important, because it is to them.

How many times has someone come to you,

or to me , and said something that was taken lightly, instead of with the importance it was given in.

To all those , whose "tennis balls" I did not appreciate, I apologize. I am sure there are people I have run across, that I heard but did not absorb the message, the emotion.

As I end this for today,

I will make a commitment to be a better listener, a better observer, and to look beyond .

Ray Stevens also wrote " Don't worry about what shows from without, but the love that lies within. "  Good night to all,

Mrs Justa.... alias Cindy

43 Things Tags: tennis ball,importance,life,choices,special,things,listening

Mrs Justa and Squeaky

Meet Squeaky

, she was a cat we had that was , I swear , my grandmother reincarnated. She was part cat part human. She would jump up on the bar stool and sit on it like a person, and look at the paper, my coffee, whatever was there. She did not make a mess, she just was like she was better then just a cat.

I bring her up as I am thinking about how we perceive people

and things to be. I think we are sometimes guilty of not taking the time to really meet the living souls of the people or things we are around.

Many probably looked a Squeaky in a quick glance and only saw a cat, but there was so much more.

She would wash each morsel of her food before she ate it.

  She would squeak as she jumped, and she would do this thing in flight that was so funny. If the dog was napping, and she wanted his attention, she would bound back and forth in mid air, as if she was a person, head up, back legs down, and as she boinged back and forth she would glance at the dog to see if she was annoying him. She loved women and girls. She had a fascination for my earrings and necklaces. She was more then a cat.

Who or what are you accustomed to seeing,

and you look at them as; only a poor person, or a disabled person, or just that person next door, or just a dog, just a cat, just a person at work, just a cashier, etc.. The person holding the cardboard sign on the street corner has a history, a personality, and could be me or you. Each living being is on this earth for a reason. We are blessed with a gift of life. We are blessed with the freedom of choice, and unfortunately some living beings makes poor choices, and commit crimes, or choose to act in ways that are not as if they are blessed. But , I believe, each living being is here for a reason.

So as each day is lived, I believe we all need to look for beyond the surface of those we come across, and remember that we all have personalities, feelings, memories, hurt, joys.

Squeaky, I miss you

, cancer took you after 9 short years of life, but I am forever grateful for the times I was home recovering from a few surgeries, because of those times, I got to know you more then just being a cat. The recovery time, was not a curse, but a blessing, because it made me aware that I was too busy to take the time to really get to know those people and pets in my life. Bless you all, Mrs Justa.

43 Things Tags: acceptance,people,pets,know them,meet them