Thursday, July 3, 2008

Mrs Justa and the 4th of July

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(imageCourtesy of The smiling faces are because Mark is home. I know he is not feeling like smiling yet, so these will have to do for now. I am smiling for him.

We have had more issues with the house and the darn getting the certificate of occupancy- but we are getting there. I had to get a certified electrician to come and inspect the place, so that was done today, needed the water district dude to inspect the water- that was done before- so he hopefully faxed it to the town, smoke detectors in every room, done and the warranty seal is there. So now the skirting and I think we are on a serious roll to move in next Friday.

My side of the family is having their reunion this weekend in Allegheny State Park. We come from Arizona, Mich, Mass, RI, Alabama, Kentucky and Syracuse area. I have 8 living brothers and sisters, some with kids that have kids of their own. It is nice to see everyone. I just found out one of my sisters rolled her car on the way down. Her daughter, son and sons friend are ok, the car and car top carrier are not. Seems she just had tires put on , and the store maybe felt lug nuts need not be tightened. So her tire fell off going 65 mph. They are all at the hospital now, about 2 1/2 hrs from here, and some of the reunion goers are going to help salvage her belongings, my brothers are driving 2 cars down instead of one- so she has a car to return in and my sister has a van and has gone to pick up the gang at the hospital. What a way to start the reunion!!

Thank God they had the car top carrier on it, I bet it cushioned the roll. My niece has some scraps, but they are all alive.

I am not leaving till tomorrow night, so no blog for the weekend, Mark may or may not go, it depends how he feels tomorrow night. It sounds like pretty good weather. Mark had rented a cabin for us about 8 mi north of the park, so we will stay at the cabin and go to the park for the gatherings. I am excited about going , yet wish Mark felt better. Now I am worried about my sister and kids, but it sounds like they are VERY lucky. Jeff and Amanda are staying with us Sat night at the cabin, we are all returning Sunday. It will be short, but nice. I hope all have a good 4th of July, stay safe, don't play with fire crackers- let the pros do it.

Love to all, Mrs and Mr Justakrusen

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Mrs Justa and the pathway of life

Life is a road, a path sometimes an interstate. Life goes on until it doesn't. I find that comforting yet scary in a way.A forest path in Redwoods State Park, California. I sometimes find the pathway with a "T" in the path, and sometimes it is a total intersection. I wonder what makes me determine the path to take, the road to follow. What if I had not taken that path, would the other way end up intersecting with the way I chose down the road further?

I was visiting Mark this afternoon, and I began to think about the paths we have chosen and roads we have traveled. I was observing the people as I drove up there,  all who have different life pathways, and are where they are because of directions in crossroads that they or other folks took.

Each person has a story, each life is special to at least one other person. Each of us had a mom and dad, no matter what we felt of the mom and dad, at one point those people were filled with wonder about what their child would be like.(courtesy of windows vista)We are each here because of the choice our parents made on their own path of life.

We all came into this world innocent, with a life pathway that was many lengths, many bumps, some very smooth. What happened in the pathway to rob us of our innocence, to harden us. I don't understand. IS it that the people and incidents we have been exposed to have made us more cynical at times? Or is it that we have been treated poorly that has made us bitter?004

Life's pathway choices are not only for people, all life forms take paths, and the road chosen will either direct them to a positive or a negative experience, to a more comforting or more challenging future. If these geese choose the wrong pathway, it could be fatal for them.

I know not where the current path I am on is leading to, nor do I know what lies ahead for Mark, I believe it will be less bumpy then the part we are on right now. I do know the choice he took right now was a wise choice, to be stabilized on meds  in an in patient setting, and get in control of the direction he is heading on the path, instead of the path taking control. Does that make sense? So my thought is to be careful at the intersection, make sure that you think before you make your choices, and enjoy the walk down the path of your life. You can not turn back, you must keep going forward, find peace, watch for holes, find that beam of light. May God Bless you all, Cindy

Monday, June 30, 2008

mrs justa and a quick note

HI all Justa quick note to let you know Mark is inpatient for trying to manage him and his side effects as they try to balance medication. I am off to sleep- this has been an incredible trying time with the move, with wanting to help Mark and not being able to, working in a new role of management at work, and trying to make this move as smooth as possible. I am exhausted, so good night, and I will be back tomorrow. Love, Cindy100_0862

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Mrs Justa trying to fill Mark's cupboard with hope

This reminds me of how Mark says he feels right now. Empty, life is not colored, dizzy, nauseous, 084lost, wondering why all this is happening to him, to us.

He still can not eat, can not sleep, he did get an instant breakfast down this morning and 2/3rds of a grilled cheese sandwich but that is it for 2 days. His symptoms after starting the Paxil and Valium from Friday have really put him in a bad way. His eyes look weird, like he is trying to stop the room from spinning. Dry heaves, yep he is feeling really crappy.

I did call the doctors number last night and they said Paxil will make you feel nauseous, dizzy and such and as the days progress the symptoms will worse. That was day one on the Paxil and Valium.

Day 2 was much worse, more GI symptoms, and unable to walk straight cuz he is so dizzy, then feeling guilty because he feels so out of it and unable to function- so I called again today, the doctor was called by the nurse, and they said stop everything.

He is just feeling lost, and like it is not getting better. I know it takes time to find the right mix of meds, but it is hard to watch, and harder to live it I am sure.

We are still planning on the move in 2 weeks, I need to make sure we have the right day and people to assist, Earl is looking forward to getting our house, and now that I am setting it up, I can't wait till we are there. This 2 house thing is the pits.
On a brighter note, the kitchen , the 2 bathrooms and some of the bedrooms are in somewhat of order. I can not do it all, as we need bookcases and furniture to put thing in and on.

But I did get alot done, probably unpacked 30 boxes and about 20 bins. It was fun to set things up, but not fun knowing I left Mark here while he was feeling so lousy. He could not go up there though, as we have no water , so no bathrooms right now... but after tomorrow we should :) So life is an ever changing process right now, and I am assuring Mark that this is not his life forever, just we need to see what works. He has a psychiatrist and a social worker that are willing to work together, so that is great, we have our family and friends, which without all of you, it would seem senseless at times.  I see the sun on the horizon, and I know we will feel the glow. He will be okay, it is just gonna take some time.

Our thanks and love to all, Mr and Mrs Justa...