Sunday, June 29, 2008

Mrs Justa trying to fill Mark's cupboard with hope

This reminds me of how Mark says he feels right now. Empty, life is not colored, dizzy, nauseous, 084lost, wondering why all this is happening to him, to us.

He still can not eat, can not sleep, he did get an instant breakfast down this morning and 2/3rds of a grilled cheese sandwich but that is it for 2 days. His symptoms after starting the Paxil and Valium from Friday have really put him in a bad way. His eyes look weird, like he is trying to stop the room from spinning. Dry heaves, yep he is feeling really crappy.

I did call the doctors number last night and they said Paxil will make you feel nauseous, dizzy and such and as the days progress the symptoms will worse. That was day one on the Paxil and Valium.

Day 2 was much worse, more GI symptoms, and unable to walk straight cuz he is so dizzy, then feeling guilty because he feels so out of it and unable to function- so I called again today, the doctor was called by the nurse, and they said stop everything.

He is just feeling lost, and like it is not getting better. I know it takes time to find the right mix of meds, but it is hard to watch, and harder to live it I am sure.

We are still planning on the move in 2 weeks, I need to make sure we have the right day and people to assist, Earl is looking forward to getting our house, and now that I am setting it up, I can't wait till we are there. This 2 house thing is the pits.
On a brighter note, the kitchen , the 2 bathrooms and some of the bedrooms are in somewhat of order. I can not do it all, as we need bookcases and furniture to put thing in and on.

But I did get alot done, probably unpacked 30 boxes and about 20 bins. It was fun to set things up, but not fun knowing I left Mark here while he was feeling so lousy. He could not go up there though, as we have no water , so no bathrooms right now... but after tomorrow we should :) So life is an ever changing process right now, and I am assuring Mark that this is not his life forever, just we need to see what works. He has a psychiatrist and a social worker that are willing to work together, so that is great, we have our family and friends, which without all of you, it would seem senseless at times.  I see the sun on the horizon, and I know we will feel the glow. He will be okay, it is just gonna take some time.

Our thanks and love to all, Mr and Mrs Justa...


Forest Parks said...

I'm saddened to read this as I know what a strong and fine man Mark is.... so please do send forward my best wishes, or hopefully he will read this himself.

I am looking forward to when you guys have completed the move and Mark has managed to work out the best med mix.

You and Mark are strong, brave people and I will be watching and waiting patiently for things to work out.... as I know they will.

Mark Krusen said...

Thanks Forest,
Mark was admitted to Oswego Behavior Health Facility today- they are going to try to manage him on meds and see if they can help to get him more himself. They said it won't be long there. I will keep all updated. Cindy

Stan Cavers said...

Dearest Mark:

Hey Buddy, I know all about suffering, but have you read the research on Paxil? I just don't want you jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Go over to Furious Seasons and read up on that stuff. I've taken just about everything on the planet, but I refused that stuff; to many horror stories related to it's use. I wish you all the best, and hope beyond hope everything settles down for you. But I don't want you to learn the hard way with some of these so called helping drugs that lead to hell on the fast track. Please read up and be weary. I will not be surprised if the FDA pulls that stuff off the market in the very near future. This is not a judgment, I am one that believes strongly in making your own choices, but just wanted to give you a heads up because I care.

Your in my thoughts and prayers: