Saturday, June 14, 2008

I'm kinda Numb!

It's Friday, The day after the closing on the house

That's right it finally happened. We closed on the house yesterday then Cindy and I drove up to the town of Granby town hall to get our Permits for the building to start. Dan from G&I homes called and said that they would be starting the site work Friday afternoon. They would probably be pouring the concrete Saturday. It is all so anticlimactic for me now. The bank dragged it out so much that the excitement for the event has long gone. Maybe as they start making the progress on the slab it will come back for me. Cindy and I are going to try to go up and get some pictures of the progress and will post them if we get them.

I'm on day three of my Lithium and boy does it make you tired

It also gives you diarrhea, and the shakes. I'm having a great time. I'm bound and determined to give this stuff a good test though. The Dr. Said it will take a while to start working and the prescription only cost me $.80. For that money I can afford to ride it out to see if its going to work.

I had a big spike in visitors to this blog  the other day.

12 new hits. I don't understand where the traffic comes from but it sure does help to know other people are reading the words and that some are getting something out of them. I'm not going on other blogs and commenting like I was earlier I just don't feel like I have anything to bring to the table that is worthwhile. I hope to get back to reading and enjoying other blogs soon.

image Picture courtesy of my blogging buddy Precious rock on her new blog In living color

I put this picture on because that's where I feel like I am right now.

The desert of my life. The Workmans Comp rep called me today and now I have to meet with him because I quit that job and after that call I had a call from my Psych Drs office telling me that they were dropping me because they don't handle workmen's comp cases. I tried explaining that it wasn't a Workman's comp case but they would have nothing to do with my explanation. I am like reeling here folks. What's next is Gas going to keep rising, are my grocery bills going to continue to go up. The next thing I know there will be a friggin Dumocrat in office and my taxes will go up. I feel like I have stepped of into a parallel universe. Maybe this isn't really happening. Maybe if I an wake up this will all just go away. NOTTTTTTTT! One more thing Dan, from G&I homes called later in the day and said that they wouldn't be starting the site work until Monday now. I'm going to go ahead and publish this thing now before I get another call and things change again. Have a great day.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I'm Justa Limping along here!


Ok here's the story.

I no longer am working the part time job. It was just too much. I couldn't overcome the anxiety. I've only been sleeping about 4 hrs a day if I'm lucky. And My racing thoughts are just too much to try to overcome and work also. The Pysch Dr. I saw today. Wrote me a script to be out of work for 4 weeks. This effectively ends the job. I'm also not on the Abilify anymore. I am now starting tonight on Lithium 300 mg 1 tab in morning and 2 tabs at night. So here goes nothing wish me luck. I am so tired from not sleeping and not eating right the last 4 or 5 days that I would be willing to try anything right now. The Dr. says it may take 7 to 10 days to feel the effects of the Lithium I can't wait. I have tried to do it on my own and it just isn't working. I'll let you know how it works.


I feel lousy about the way I had to quit.

I'm leaving the boss in a bad position. She has to go back and change the schedule of the drivers back to what it was before I started. I can't help feeling like a dirt bag it's not in my nature to quit like I just did. But the bottom line is I never should have taken the job. The 5 hrs dead time in the middle of the shift was just not manageable for me. I ended up tying up 10 hrs for only 4 hrs of pay. I was also driving 80 miles a day round trip from home and back just to get to and from the job. All for only $9.00 per hour.

Well so much for getting more sleep,

it's 2:30 am on Thursday as I finish writing this post. I slept my 4 hrs and now I'm up. I took my first dose of 2 tabs. Hey I have to tell you. My prescription cost me only $0.80 at Wally world. How cool is that? My Abilify was costing me $78.00 and wasn't working so there is a big plus right there. I couldn't believe it when she rang it up and it was so little. I asked her if she was sure.

I don't know how the Workman's comp is going

to deal with my inability to work due to my Bipolar acting up. The Dr. and my Social worker Lenny both feel that my disorder very well may have been triggered due to the stress of my leg and the subsequent problems I have encountered with it. So It may tie in together in the long run.

I want to close this post with a thank you from

Joe and Justana for commenting. You both tell me you have been reading for a while It's great to have you commenting. Please continue to do so. Here is Joe's site over at Simple Debt free Finance Check out his site when you get a Chance and Justana has started a blog, she's a lady from Brazil that has just came out of Lurker status. Here is her site Justana Please stop over and read her blog and leave a comment to let her know she is not alone out there. It is so neat to have readers and commenter's from all over the world.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm a driving fool!


It's 3:00 am on Tuesday as I type this post.

I was tossing and turning while trying to sleep. It's hot and muggy and I'm pretty anxious today. Today the driving on my new job starts. I'm pretty sure I know the route. Right now I have 7 people that I have to pick up in the morning between 07:30 and 09:00 am. The route is aprox 24 miles long winding from Baldwinsville, Ny around through Camilus and then back into the City of Syracuse, Ny ending on James Street at about 09:00 am. Then I'm off until about 02:15 pm when I have to  pick them up and reverse order back to their homes where I picked them up. The route finishes at about 04:00 pm. I'll get a picture of the van I'm driving up at another time. I just wanted to check in with you all.

The closing on the house is Thursday at 10:00 am.

Barring any last minute changes, on Friday G&I homes will start the slab work and within a week or so after the slab is installed they should start placing the house. It should be pretty quick after that that we should be able to start moving in. We hope to be in a postion to take pictures of the site work and them pouring the slab. Hope springs eternal.

Tomorrow is my first visit with the psych dr.

I'm really looking forward to this as I can't take much more of this up and down stuff. This latest episode of the Bipolar has been cycling pretty fast up and down, up and down since January and I'm running out of umph.(Hey Preciousrock is umph a word?) As many of you have read I haven't felt like posting and I feel so disjointed with this post but I just wanted to get some word out there to you. Thanks to my loyal readers for your encouraging words. They mean a lot to me and I hope to be back in the Saddle Posting at least every other day or so. Once I get  used to the routine of working again.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I'm justa checking in.

This is my I'm still here post.

After posting almost every day since I started blogging back in January I went through a couple of days where I just didn't feel like posting. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed what with the move, the new job and the bipolar episode all just hitting me with the perfect storm.So I took a Friday and Saturday off and I'm not going to push it to far today either. I feel somewhat better today. Thanks for the comments and the encouragement of my blogging buddies.

So real quick here is what is going on.

Friday I did my ride along for the driving job. I know the route all ready but will do one more ride along to fine tune in my mind the way things go. Then I believe Starting Tuesday I will be doing the route on my own. I'm not 100% sure though as the new boss has changed her story about the job a couple of times all ready. First it was supposed to be $10.00 an hr to start now she is saying it's $9.00 to start with a raise to $10.00 rather quickly. Then she is hedgeing a little on it being every day, to maybe it being a 2 weeks on 2 weeks off schedule. So I have to see how that plays out. She said to be patient that it may take a month to get things straightened out.

I'm really stressed out about how the new job 

plays into my Workmans Comp and the fact that a hearing will be coming up soon.This job is only part time and in the long term I need to work full time. I have to be patient and let things play out as they will. It's not my nature to wait and see. I'm more a make it happen kind of guy so this is my main stress producer.

Oh I do have some good news.

Cindy was able to get me in to see a Psych Dr. This coming Wednesday. I'm pretty excited about this as maybe I can finally get my medicine straightened out and get back to somewhat feeling normal again. I have been in this last episode of my disorder now since January so I can't remember what normal is. I just know that if how I feel now becomes my normal I wouldn't be able to function very well. So wish me luck with my appointment.

This has been a quick update. There is a lot more going on but I don't want to ramble. Thanks for checking back in. Hopefully more to follow. My posting times may change and I may not post everyday but I'll give it a shot. Preciousrock has a new camera so make sure you watch what you wear if you go to the laundry mat.