Hang on folks. Here it comes. It seem so surreal typing these words. In a nut shell this is my life coming out of the typing of these words. I'm justa starting into the depressive side of this journey through my Bi-polar disorder. Wish me luck. I still have the same support in place. That being said though the only one that controls this ride is me. Jolynn Braley said in her comment over at Tom's post on Bi-Polar disorder "The way out is through" the disorder. Read the rest of her comment by using the above link to Tom's post.
I said somewhere, I don't remember where it was, that I was looking forward to the depressive stage of this trip into the disorder this time. I think I said "I want to see how I manage the depression this time." Well I guess we'll find out. I'm not so sure now. It comes in on you like a heavy cloud, or a wave on the beach. There is no stopping it. It just is. So in other words Jolynn is right. Unless I can disconnect from my body. The wave is going to lap at my being, slowly eroding parts of me away. I don't know if this is such a bad thing. Since I'm not evolved enough to disconnect I need to anchor somewhere and ride out the episode. I'm hoping that yesterday was the worst of it. As you read this I'll be in day two of it as I'm writing this the day before.
I hope I don't lapse into a depression filled series of post I'll try to steer away from them after this post. Speaking of depression, "how would you like to wake up knowing your presidential choices for your party were a Potential racist, elitist,do as I say not as I do kind of a guy" or a Controlling,whinnying, crying when she doesn't get her way, manipulating, military hating, men hating, Liberal,lying "I'll promise you anything to get electiated kind of gal. Man is that depressing? Please pray for a Dumocrat today. Because that's the only two choices they have right now. Unless, that "the sky is falling, the sky is falling" fellow from previous administrations shows up at the end.
No wait. We could still elect that guy that shows up every 4 years to draw attention to himself so that when he goes on future speaking tours he can charge $50,000+ dollars. I'm justa saying!