Friday, January 2, 2009

Mrs Justa and enabling...or doing good.

Abe Lincoln once image was quoted " You can not help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." Well that statement speaks to me in many ways.

I have been accused of, and will for the rest of my life, of being an "enabler". I do not think I am , but others have accused me of it. I offer a helping hand in times that maybe others think I should not.

I have a compassion for people and sometimes they are in need of help. But other times , I have to almost sit on my hand and freeze my actions, because if I do for them, they will not learn for themselves.

I see that at work, if I am training someone on the computer system, and how we analyze and search for criteria to use for our requests we get in, it is so much easier to speak what the trainee should be thinking, or to reach the key board of their computer and just hit the dang key. But I do restrain from that , for I know they need to think and learn with guidance, not with me doing.

But in my personal life, maybe I have been an

enabler in some peoples mind, but I think I have been a good mom and wife. When Jeff lived home and Mark was gone for the week driving, I would do everything around the house. Jeff would get annoyed if he woke up and I have shoveled the driveway, ..I did it because Jeff was working full time and a full time student, so I knew his rest was important. Someone else might say I was enabling him not to do stuff around the house.

Same thing with Mark, I felt bad he was gone from Monday morning till Saturday morning, so I would have him just come home, help him bring his stuff in, the shower would be ready for him to jump in, a fresh towel, fresh sheets on the bed, and he would shower and take a nap. I would get his clothes laundered, get the groceries, and he could recharge for the next grueling week.  I felt I was doing him a favor, others might say I was enabling him.

I find myself in situations all the time when I do things to be nice, and others may think I am enabling . I like who I am, and what I believe in, so I really do not think I will ever change. So I hope I am not disappointing Abe by my actions. Have a great weekend, Love Mrs Justa