Friday, February 8, 2008

Justa Dead Horse Whupping !

Corporate filly

The Dakota Indians of North America passed on this piece of wisdom from generation by word of mouth - "If you are riding a dead horse the best thing to do is dismount". However in the corporate world because of the heavy investment factor other things to be tried, (but not limited to) are the following * buy a stronger whip * change riders * threaten the horse with termination * appoint a committee to study the horse * arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses * lower the standards so dead horses can be included * appoint an intervention team to reanimate the horse * create a training session to increase the riders load share * reclassify the horse as 'living impaired' * change the form so it reads "This horse is not dead" * hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse * harness several dead horses together for increased speed and efficiency * donate the dead horse to a recognized charity therefore deducting its full original cost * provide additional funding to increase horse's performance * do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity * purchase an after market product that makes dead horses run faster * declare the dead horse has lower overheads and is therefore more cost effective * form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses * rewrite the performance requirements for horses * and finally if all else fails.....promote the dead horse into a supervisory (management) position

Brought to you by the fine folks at Arcamax. To my family: All this time you thought I was just a Dead Horse beater, when all along I have been in training for a management position. Momma and I went to the gym last night again. 2 times in a row. 28 more times and they say it will be a habit. We also stopped on the way home and had dinner-breakfast at B'ville Diner. We sat up front in one of the small booths near the road. It was better than sitting in the back, It had more of a sock hop feel to it. We had our eyes out for the mayor and his wife, it must have been their bed time. Momma and I have been having an on going conversations on how to shave some dollars off of our spending: Me: " Get rid of home phone since we have cell phones and they work very well at the house, and most people in family have Verizon like us so it's free." Momma:" Get rid of cell phones, because they cost $110.00 per month on our plan with our usage etc, instead of the home phone, which cost $34.00 per month." What do you guys think? I for one will not get rid of my cell phone as I now consider it "My personal communication Device" from the old Dick Tracy cartoons. I think it's amazing that you can be any where and reach just about any one at any time to talk about anything for as long as you want unless of course someone is screening their calls and that's a whole nother story don't get me going on that one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i once had a was old and i wanted it i put it at the curb with a sign saying sat for weeks ..someone finaly took the i went to making another sign...but after some thought about human nature ( who would steal a FREE sign)i wrote. "1958 classic fridge for sale, $150.oo....and the next day the sign and fridge were gone...problem solved...
i always list thing in order of the cell more important than the home phone...why not cancel one phone and you keep yours...get momma a track phone for emergencies....i and the better half will be spending saturday evening at a local hotel for a lovers escape. ...i will not tell which one so you won't bother us...thanks for the vine