Life, it has its ups and downs.
For some of my siblings the downs are hard, but they can be an up at the same time.
My siblings and I have definitely defied the statistics on marriages staying together. I remember someone saying 50% of marriages end up in divorce. Well my family is looking a lot worse then that.
My older sister divorced,
my oldest sister had 2 bad marriages before she found the right person, my one marriage ended in divorce, my one brother divorced and remarried, a brother that is a widower- so he does not fall in that category, my 2 youngest sisters, not officially divorced, but their kids and they are living apart from their husbands.
And then I have 2 older brothers
who have made it through thick and thin for MANY years with their spouses.
(I chose this photo because this past family reunion, she had come up from Alabama with herself and her 2 kids.And here in this photo she is cooking and her kids are playing on the camp site they had. )I am brought back to the challenges I faced in a situation of separation from first husband. For my sister, she is feeling a sense of this being the right thing. Whatever the issues were, they were unable to resolve them, and knowing my sister and her extreme ability to be tolerant, and take ALOT of crap, they must have had some pretty bad stuff.
For me it was not the same.
I had loved my husband and we had a 2 yr old son. The only reason there was sun rise and sun set was because of my son and husband. Every breath I took was devoted to them. So when the words came out of my husbands lips that he thought we should separate, it was like getting hit by a freight train out of no where. Why?? What was wrong?? I had not a clue!
I had to leave the home we were in,
moved into my moms and slept on her bedroom floor, and I tried to make sense of it all. The sadness that the memories of this time in my life are always there, hidden but ready to surface. And for my sister, even though she may not have been surprised by this chapter in her life, there are now things that are changed forever. The kids are dependant on only one person now, there is no "mommy time", the bills all belong to her, the trying to get child support, to find a job that pays enough to raise your kids, the decisions. I am glad for her and the kids if this is better, I am also saddened by the challenges that lie ahead. I pray that she, and anyone who is going through a break up of a marriage , that they find strength, pray, trust in God, Let go and Let God. And be patient, be strong, and demand financial assistance from your spouse. Get legal help, you must do that for your future and the future of your kids. Know I am thinking of you. Love Mrs Justa.