Thursday, May 1, 2008

Justa hanging on! Sort of...

marks dad second photo

I wasn't going to do a post today. i am d




today. That right down, feeling lousy, poor attitude,miserable, how low can you go down. But you know what. I had to post today didn't I? If I can get on this thing and spout off my words of wisdom when I'm up, I need to get on here and do the same when I'm down. At least that's the way I see it. I was going to let yesterday's post sit there for at least another day. I would get maybe my normal 10 or 15 hits a day and that would mean a few more people would read it that didn't get to yesterday. So I hope if you weren't here or even if you were and didn't read it that you take the time to scroll down and read it and maybe even put your two cents in if you feel so inclined. WE just have to get to the point where we put these things behind us and move on. That's my thinking on it anyway. What is yours?

I had to wake Momma up in the middle of the night to talk this morning. Just needed some company. That's how down I am. Some negative thoughts creeping in. I have to get involved with a support group of some kind where I can drop a dime at any time of the day or night so I don't wake Cindy up. I justa didn't feel like typing last night or early this morning. That's why the time on this post is so late compared to most other post I've done lately.

The Abilify was knocking me out, making me tired and foggy so I couldn't take it. Apparently the Risperdal ain't going to work either as my depression is starting to engulf me again. It is amazing how quick I can feel or not feel the effects of the medicines I'm taking. My mood is swinging really fast now from ok one part of the day to depressed the next. Something has to change or I will end up in CPEP again. If you've been reading this blog at all you'll know how I feel about that. CHECK THIS out if you want to see what I'm talking about.

I'm feeling so disconnected right now. I go to my favorite web sites and read the post and they don't inspire me like they normally do. Even two of my favorites Tom and The Simple can't inspire me. I have even debated on wether I should keep blogging or not again. That mood strikes me ever so often. That's why I forced myself to get on here and post today. Those of you with Depression or some other mood disorder will understand this post today. Others maybe not so much. Here's hoping you have a great day. I'm going to dig down deep and see if I can't salvage a reasonable day out of today.

The picture is a picture of my father in Nam when he was there the first time years ago.


ladyjane64 said...

I've had a lot of those kind of days where I just want to say say "why bother", believe me. I'm glad you decided to get up and do your blog today and I think you should make every attempt to keep it going.
Your writing is full of insiration and good information, I'm living proof. I think it was perfect timing that you and Cindy came to our house that day and you told us about your blog because I've been reading every day and you've both been helping me through a very tough time. God is amazing, he knows just what and sometimes in my case who you need just at the right time and in the nick of time. So keep the faith, you have a good support team in place and people who love and care about you. Now try to have a good day and keep blogging. I have to go to work and listen to screamining kids, which I guess is no differant than my home life LOL. Luv YA..... Sandy

Mark Krusen said...

Thank you Sandy.

preciousrock said...

Hey there Mark Krusen,
You've been tagged! Yes, again!

Do you know why?
I tag, Mark JustaKrusen for a Bruisen, because he tagged Stan the Man and because he’s down today and needs to know I care.

Hang in there buddy. Believe me I understand!

Mark Krusen said...

preciousrock, or should I just call you angel? You gave me the pick me up I needed with your comment. Thanks for caring.

Stan has quite the protector.

preciousrock said...

Dear Mark,
I'm not sure if you are talking about my comment above or the one I left on my post after you commented. I only called you the "Mark JustaKrusen for a Bruisen" because it rhymed and sounded funny to me--I'm always doing silly plays on words or poems or songs--that kind of stuff just pops into my mind and won't go away, lol.

I hope you read my response to your comment on my post but if not it is as follows:

"Stan is fine, he’s a tough old boy. We are all just teasing. Don’t let your brain tell you lies in your depressed state. I’m a horrible tease and I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression that anyone is upset. I’m so glad you stopped by my site and to have you as a new blog buddy. I know the tough situation you are in. If you want to be it, that’s fine with me, lol, then I won’t get another of these things. I’m going to link to your site if that’s OK, so more people can visit you! You hang in there with your blogging even if you can’t post every day. I got depressed and preoccupied and didn’t post for several months. Life happens!"

I know you are having a rough time and I sure didn't want to make things worse with my ill-timed humor. I tagged you because I thought you needed to know that I/we are with you in your suffering.

I tried to figure out the order of the comments, but the time zones got me all screwed up so I'm reposting here just in case.

preciousrock said...

Hey Mr. Bruisen,
You put a dash in my Bipolar (bi-polar) making me seem like a bi-sexual bipolar, lol. Thanks for the link! :-)

Mark Krusen said...


BPD in OKC said...

I've been severely down the last two days. I can't get out of this depression.

Mark Krusen said...

I can feel for you. Mine is settling in also. I have to start on abilify again 1/2 pill every other day. Keep in touch. Your not in it alone.Thanks for stopping by.

Tom said...

Hey Mark... I hear you, my friend. I've been down. Maybe not like you have it, but I've felt like it just wasn't worth even moving. I know it seems like total BS, but all things move, all things flow. Be well.

Mark Krusen said...

Tom, Thanks for commenting. It means a lot to me. Moving has been a challenge the last few days. I've just forced my self to do it. There is no BS about what you say at all.I enjoy you post.You never just mail it in. They are always thought provoking and interesting.