Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Oklahoma, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor took out a tape measure and did some measuring, then worked some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Oklahoma contractor also did some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor didn't measure or figure, but leaned over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The White House official, incredulous, said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Chicago contractor whispered back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Oklahoma to fix the fence."
"Done!" replied the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work. Borrowed this from The Poor Farm blog. I don't really think it's a joke though.
Winter is back here in Fulton, NY with a vengeance!! We got about 8" of snow last night. We we're going to go out to dinner with our friends Shawn & Pat. So I took Cindy into work today and we were going to meet them after Cindy got out of work. On my way home from taking Cindy in. Shawn called and said that Pat was sick so we'd have to reschedule.That's ok with me really because we got about another 8" while I was gone with about another foot called for tonight. Don't cha just love winter. I just got back from picking Cindy up from work 66 mile round trip. Syracuse Didn't get much at all but we got hammered here at the house. I bet we have 2ft with 3 & 4 ft drifts and it's still coming down.
Peter here is that picture of my man basket. It's helps me keep track of things.
The distinction between myself and Stan is that he uses a fanny pack. I leave my man basket at home, he takes his with him on his hip. {laughing}
28 comments:
Mark, there was snow in NJ yesterday too.
Brrrr......
But isn't it great to play in the snow with the grand babies?
I am not getting involved with man baskets. ;-)
Susan,
Your better off staying out of the Man basket fray.
No playing in the snow yet. Brandon is still to young.
Sending SUN from Seattle! it was an unually gorgeous day here today!
Is that a longaberger basket Mark?!
Thanks Mark! That's a great idea. Now I know what I'm looking for. However, I might need several of those. And its not too deep either so you really can't lose anything in there. Now you can take the picture back down if you think it will upset Stan, and cause repercussions across the blogosphere. Ya' know, he hasn't berated me in so long that I feel kinda left out. Maybe I'll pick out a man basket of my own this weekend and post a picture of it on my blog. You know that Stan will start wanting one of his own, even though he probably won't admit it publicly in front of all the ladies, and his CIA blog watchers. But if does get one, it will brobably have a handle on it, and some of the pink Easter basket grass in it to pad it down so that his more delicate accessories don't break.
Stephany,
You guys don't have any snow on the ground at all now do you. My brother & His wife are out your way I think they're heading back this way soon. Maybe they can bring the sun with them.
What is a longaberger basket? I think momma used to use it to put dinner rolls in it. Lol
I love snow. What you are describing is like some of the snows I remember when I was kid near Lancaster Co., PA. I think its about time I move myself and my woodstove and my insulated L.L.Bean duck boots up north a ways.
The joke was funny too.
How have you gotten so many visitors from so many places. Is it that Google Translate gadget. My gosh. I wonder if Stan pays attention to all those different nationalities who've visited your site. Some of them are pretty controversial, though I don't think anyone from Chicago has stopped by yet.
You are right Mr. Krusen for a Bruisin'. That joke is no joke...happens every day. You just changed the names to protect the guilty. Made me angry just reading it.
Re: the snow. I sure would love to have snow -- lots and lots of snow. Maybe I'll have to come sample Cindy's apple pie during the winter sometime.
lol you stole her basket, i knew it!
no more snow here, just frost in the morning (at least this week)
hey the apple pie up in the corner looks good!
Pete,
Not only does Stan have a man basket. Did you read my post about the blow up doll he has sitting at his kitchen table. I'm justa sayin.
Precious,
We have about 2ft of snow right now from this last little lake effect event. More coming in Saturday night too. You can have all of it but just be careful for what you wish for.
Stop by for the pie anytime. Just give us a 5 min notice. So the pie will be fresh when you get here. Nice to have you back.
Stephany,
I didn't technically steal her basket. I justa borrowed it. I followed that link on your last post to the "whine" blog. Sounds like the perfect place for me to hang out,doesn't it?
yeah that whine blog better watch out for incoming whines! lol let's start our own whine blog.
I posted my whine on my blog comment section. I may as well post it here too. my knees are on fire and i woke up from a nightmare that i stepped on a thumbtack.
i see precious over at pete's defending ownership of the orginality of man basket creation.
see what happens when you lay around in dirty socks for months PR? LOL the men tried to take over
don't worry i held down the fort.
I love you guys. Thanks for making me chuckle so much. I'm still learning about some inside jokes from time to time. But you certainly can make me smile... Stephany, Susan, Mark, Stan (wherever he is), Ana, and now Precious (good to meet you!) I need to go to my blog now and comment on Precious' comment.
BTW I can almost smell that pie. I wish I could have a slice with my coffee!
Peter,
Stan Is dating Nancy Pelosi and isn't around much on the weekends. They are going over the Manifesto for the next week. Stan writes her speeches. You have to be careful with Precious she will correct any spelling or grammer mistakes you make. I'm thinking of putting her on Staff at here at Justakrusenville.
yeah and precious made sure i stopped cussing (it had gotten pretty %$#@@ bad) LOL
watch out Mark, Stan found us whining on my blog.
Dear Mark, Pete, and other depends wearing, hair challenged, sequin purse toting, man basket loving, the right side picture of David likeness on Ana's Blog Looking, Bloviates of Liberal pantywaist pseudo righteous delusional majesty; and with strong and powerful inclinations toward such abhorrent behavioral leaning:
Man Basket’s were originally made and created especially for Sissy Boys to hold their Barbie and Ken doll collections; while dreaming someday about dressing up like Nancy Pepsi-Lib and whining their ways through the Halls or Hells of Congress. Now they have manifested themselves to cover other deviant men of like constitution and sick twisted requirements.
Yes Mark and Pete, your secrets are out of your man baskets for all to see. That Blow up Nancy Pepsi-Lib likeness you and Pete refer to with such drooling verbosity and debaucheries’ feminine desires; I happen to use as a warm up for my kick boxing drills. There is something quite healthy in knocking the crap out off those socialist elite San Francisco types that can bring peace and content to almost any day.
I hope your new found support group therapy at http://secretspinelesswhine.blogspot.com/
will help both you and Pete carry on nicely in your twisted little whining worlds of delusional indoctrination.
Now I’m sure your busy preparing your Man Basket’s for the next major holiday which is Easter. We know as demonstrated quite clearly on Pete’s site that adding a few viable marbles instead of those delightful pastel colored eggs would aid his transition back in to functioning humanity quite well {Plus that Reese’s Monkey farm they have him caged up in right now is about to have a serious rebellion on their hands; those Monkey’s I gather, don’t like hair challenged naked grown men swinging on the toys in their neighborhood). So as you duct tape the pink lace around the edges of your famous Fruity tootie, spring fresh, and liberal man Baskets; remember there are others like you out there that are just a basket with a few eggs short of a chicken coop waiting to join your fascists group U.G.L.Y..
By the way; how are those new A-typical Anti-psychotic meds working, is that fantasy women Nancy Pepsi-lib and your Hug Buddy and back side slapping Premiere Obubba still running down the Yellow Brick road in front of your couch beckoning you to join them in happy Munchkin Land? Maybe you can pass a few of those enlightenment pills over to Pete while you’re both sitting at the mall checking out guys as they walk by with their fanny packs.
As for my backpack which you confuse with a Fanny Pack (I guess you have deeper seeded issues than we previously realized). I carry this on hikes and walks through the Woods and Forest. It contains manly stuff like a survival knife, first aid equipment, rain jacket, and last but not least, one of the world’s most powerful Hand Guns ( the 44 magnum Desert Eagle with extra clips); Just in case I see one of those man basket toting insidious Liberals on his way to grandma’s house prancing and skipping through the forest. Talk about a shooter's paradise {Laughing}.
Now I can only surmise that Mark has spent too much time at his local super mall (which includes a mom and pop feed store, a fancy man basket outlet center, a fashion Depends for the inactive adult Galleria, a food barn for the budget minded peeps with a special Beef pot pie discount section, a Victoria’s Secret Sheep catalog redemption center which continues to feed Mark’s abhorrent maladjustment issues, A Mickey D’s for those healthy 10,000 calorie snacks, and a two screen Movie house which plays reruns of “Mary Poppins” and the “Sound of Music” continually for years on end). I guess even old farts with half a nose and sitting firmly on life’s scale of gargantuan proportion need some social activity once and a while.
In Closing; I will just like to say I hope that all of you get the proper treatment and therapy which suits you well; and I hope beyond the depths of reality, this brings you back to some form of functioning realism from your obvious San Francisco left wing nut job kind of twisted and perverse Bath House mentalities.
With Honesty and truth, you’re Bloggery Pal,
Stan
I'm here! I'm here!
It's a nice day. Not too hot.
Mark,
I'm afraid I don't have the cultural knowledge to understand the joke.
I don't understand the differences between a contractor from Chicago, Oklahoma and Minnesota.
I thought about Peter when I saw your basket because he has written a post saying he lost many things.
I believe Stan must be sleeping because yesterday was Friday...
Hmmmm
PreciousRock will not be very happy Stan!
Yeah S.T.A.N.{Sarcastic,tenacious,Angry,Neanderthal} I would to go down your list step by step.Each deranged reference to Honesty and Truth that you so willy nilly make.
But why bother. I have archived the footage of you and your Nancy Pelosi look a like doll. You call that kick boxing. On the east coast we call that making out.
Your obviously toking on your left handed cigarette again. As to the B.B. gun you refer to. You've obviously,been watching to many Terminator reruns. You really need to stop saying "I'll be baaaack" to your 8 x 10 glossy of Tom Cruise as you skip out the door with your fanny back.{for it to be a back pack you have to not wear it on your hip}on your way to another Barbara Streisand fund raising for the anointed one.
Poor Peter thinks that your the second coming of Plato. When in all reality your more in line with the teachings and nighttime antics of one Pee Wee Herman.
With great respect and admiration,
Your blogging nightmare.
Mark
Ana,
As you can tell Stan is having one of his "spells".
As to the Joke. It is just referring to the corruption and greed of the politicians in Chicago. It could take place in any City or State in our fine land. I'm starting to think that there isn't even one any where that doesn't get corrupted once they're in office.
I don't know who said it but someone once said "That absolute power corrupts absolutely" They may go into office with high ideals but once assimilated into the system they are changed instead of changing the system.
Barrack Obama is a good example of that. Look at all the promises he made that he's already broken.
Sorry for the Rant. That darn Left leaning,Liberal,Pee Wee Herman look alike got me all fired up this afternoon. {Laughing my arse off.}
Warning!!! If Stan invites you to the Movies "Just Say No".
Dear Mark:
I'm about to call 911; if you actually believe beating up on some plastic doll directly relates to your sick and twisted fantasies of getting all kissy face with a rubber object; or on a more frightening level taking violent action against a loved one. Then it's pass time For Nancy to "Just Say No" and get you some serious intervention and help. {Smirk! ain’t this just a hoot}
It quite obvious drugs are not taking the edge off your delusions; so I believe it time to get out the heavy duty drill and bore a few holes in that hairy Jell-O holding head of yours.
NO Mark; the bottle in front of you, is not the same as the frontal lobotomy taking place inside of you. {Laughing}
Your concerned and Bloggery Pal,
Stan
Cheat sheet required:
1. who is nancy-pepsi-do and why should an american voter need to know?
2. what's a man basket
3. what's a pinkie commie, i don't think it's a cocktail
4. what are blow up dolls
5. what's a manifesto
6. who is obubba
7. who really owns that blue sequin purse
8. what is the difference between an atypical antipsychotic and a typical one
9. why do i need to know how monkies are involved
10.what is the definition of UGLY and does it change daily
11. who is stan
12. what is gouch marx, a new government
13. what are the winning lotto numbers
14. what the hell does bloviate mean?!
Score:
1/14=you are sleep reading
2/14=you have one eyelid open reading
forget it, someone make up the rest!
hey who you calling a hairy jello brain!?
The answer to questions 7,10 & 14 Stephany is Stan!
As to #4 Stan prefers if you call them his girlfriend instead of Blow up dolls.
I was just thinking we should have Spring Break in Rio with Ana! folks, is that do-able?
Mark, bring that pie with you. .........Tanning works up an appetite!
Dear Readers:
They have Mark calmed down with a nice cocktail of what they call in the Rubber Ramada; a B-52 Hypo.
So he should now be resting comfortable in his five point restraints, and can cozy up tight to his sequin blue purse, and deflated blow up sheep.
Stan
Mark,
How does Cindy feel about your blowup dolls?
Sounds good to me.
Stan,
That was baaaaaaad,very baaaaaaaad!
Precious,
Are you coming out and defending your blogging boyfriend?
If you read back a little you'll see that the first mention of said "rubber female companion" was when I mentioned seeing it on the camera that the CIA has hidden in his kitchen. He even admits to kicking it around the kitchen singing in his oh so falseto voice "I feel Pretty". I'm justa sayin.
If we do take that vacation that Susan mentions,are you going to permit Stan to bring it?
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