Mrs Justa and never claiming to be MR Justa...

43 Things Tags: depression,anxiety,overwhelmed,Mark,disappointment

I was reading some of the blogs of friends Mark had encountered during his blogging days and on one there were some comments posted that referred to Mark's blog and that "I took it over".  I must admit I was hurt, maybe disappointed in the misinterpretation of my intent of writing on this blog. I am unaware how many of you have ever dealt with SEVERE depression, the kind that sucks your energy out, the kind that makes every day seem worthless, the kind that makes a person not care about a darn thing. Well when Mark hit low, I knew he had blogging friends so I thought I would post on what was going on, I guess I was doing it because I thought people cared about what was happening.And I truly believe that some have appreciated it.

I did it so that once MR Justa ( Mark) felt he was able to jump on, you would already know what had happened in the past months. In doing this, there have been some people who have continued to comment, and as soon as I see a comment I thought I was posting it. There are people who have commented that I felt a bond with, because they are so real, so sincere.

I have NEVER screened comments or chosen not to post them. I do however not get on line every day. My job takes me away from home 12 - 13 hrs a day. I manage about 20 people and often have things I bring home with me to do.

I have a house to run, a husband who is healing , a dog, cat and parakeet, and now a new grandson. Life is so busy for me. We have just moved into a new place and there have been a lot of things I have had to help out with, if not do myself. Marks depression and very low state caused him to be admitted 2 times in patient, so along with the hrs I worked, I too had the 50 mile one way trek to the hospital every day. And I would not change anything I have had to do.

I never meant to disappoint anyone, and for the person who commented the "something is just not right"- well I gotta agree with you,our life here has not felt right for a very long time. I can not possibly every expect to be Mark on line, again that was not my intent. I am not versed on bi-polar--- so referencing this site for bi-polar right now is probably not a great reference. Marks doc says he has depression and anxiety disorder and not bi-polar--- I do not know. I used this photo because it represents the void that is felt by him not posting, and again, I will post, but it is not to "take over" Mark's site, it was because I love him, and he really worked hard to make this site what it was, so my intent was to give it some oxygen, to keep it alive, until one day he begins to feel alive again too.